Twists and turn in the past couple of weeks. I just found out today of when my last day in the NEG dept here at M* will be. My life is taking upon major changes that have come so sudden. To back up a bit, I have been informed of information that I never knew that influenced and enticed a self-evaluation to take place. As some words were exchanged, I was happy to know that I let my Heavenly Father put me through the breakdown process.
This breakdown was hard but needed to be done in order to prepare the way that has been aforementioned. The first week in November is when my walls crumbled, fell apart and were completely removed from my life. I took the whole day off to spend time with family, or so I thought, but long behold, it was a day of past reflection of who I was, where I went and what caused these feelings and make me the person I wanted to be. Inscrutable occurrences allured meticulous musing, and that’s when I cracked, broke down………I bawled.
In preparation to this process, I had to let it all go and tell Him I can't do it by myself. I had to trust Him 100% before any change would come. Nothing could be confined in me if I knew that I needed to give my will to my Father in Heaven so that my full potential could be incarcerated within the walls of this gift. As I think about it, it’s like the ending in Armageddon. You just can’t shoot a train with a BB gun and expected to change its attitude or course, but it was a great deal of drilling, understanding and……..a desire to make it happen for that rock to change the path.
That’s how it was for me. I had to let many things go and the moment that I did that, my character of being a Child of God was fully realized and that’s when everything that everyone thought about me, became irrelevant. As hard as it was to let go of those insecurities, but my happiness and self-worth was more important and now, I’m happier!
I can honestly say I understand the word wrestle that is used in the Book of Enos……because I’ve been there all because of the Enabling Power of the Atonement.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Oh boy!
How I feel like a hypocrite at times. Changes of life are so sporadic and invigorating. I find it amazing that girls have, at their finger tips, the inheritance (from deity) to tactfully persuade guys like myself to just drop all previous experiences and just try one more time. I don’t know how things will turn out but it blows me away that I let some of these yearly built walls down so quick after a deceitful battle between good and chicks (yes EVIL!!)
I have so many mixed feelings with what is happening in my life with dating, school and work. I hope to start school here in the near future but I have applied for a position within my company that would require moving away. I have been praying that I will get the other job here in Utah and not be offered that position in DC. I’ve come across a girl that I find a lot of interest in and I have a date with her this weekend. I don’t know her that well but from the time that we have spent, she is very positive, happy and someone I have a lot of respect for.
The more and more I think about one of the things I said for that job in DC, I don’t think it’s going to work out. With the Law of Attraction at hand, better things are preparing the best things yet to happen. That other position here at M*, that if I got it, would be a miracle in itself.
I don’t have anything else to say.
I have so many mixed feelings with what is happening in my life with dating, school and work. I hope to start school here in the near future but I have applied for a position within my company that would require moving away. I have been praying that I will get the other job here in Utah and not be offered that position in DC. I’ve come across a girl that I find a lot of interest in and I have a date with her this weekend. I don’t know her that well but from the time that we have spent, she is very positive, happy and someone I have a lot of respect for.
The more and more I think about one of the things I said for that job in DC, I don’t think it’s going to work out. With the Law of Attraction at hand, better things are preparing the best things yet to happen. That other position here at M*, that if I got it, would be a miracle in itself.
I don’t have anything else to say.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Truth about Men
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Cry ing is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Cry ing is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
Sunday, October 14, 2007
What is WRONG with Women?
I've heard you say it a million times but what ever comes of it. Why should I believe you if you are just going to play again and again. This doesn't help either of us and it most certainly isn't going to benefit the circumstances so honestly, what is your motive?
I'll never figure this out, I sure am no longer going to let something that isn't there thrive and overall, nothing is going to stop me from finding what makes me happy.
I transparently expressed my love and concern, and discarded it becomes. I throw away curiosity and interest and now....NOW you want more of it? Times like this is what is going to eat me alive and teach me more about myself and yet again, I take a painful step into reality but yet am that much stronger.
I'll never figure this out, I sure am no longer going to let something that isn't there thrive and overall, nothing is going to stop me from finding what makes me happy.
I transparently expressed my love and concern, and discarded it becomes. I throw away curiosity and interest and now....NOW you want more of it? Times like this is what is going to eat me alive and teach me more about myself and yet again, I take a painful step into reality but yet am that much stronger.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Just plain EVIL
Out of all honesty, what does it take to convey ones individuality to secure success so that others my see the potential that lies within? I don’t know that I’ll ever come to the conclusion of that question but I can contribute to the idea that living in the manner of being you will always address the unknown outcome. She will never know what she doesn’t know about me and I don’t think she ever will. I honestly can’t explain why I liked her but that feeling will soon dissipate and I too shall become more prepared for someone far greater than she.
As you may wonder what in the world could have pushed me to this insanity, it’s easily elucidated in the vicinity of a vivid or brilliant self-importance. As an ongoing attempt to complete this process, I strive for a personal witness of one thing and one thing only. You too can have this witness if you let the spirit testify to you through the light of Christ that you have been blessed with. It’s found in a talk by Virginia H. Pearce titled the Grand Truths of Eternity. Now you might ask yourself why I don’t just come out and tell you the veracity of my intentions but what are you to learn if I just tell you? I dare not steal the infinite and measureless opportunity for you to be taught by your Father in Heaven. Its like those times when you are reading the scriptures, you come across something immaculate and you go to share it and it’s as if it’s no longer where you found it the forefend context made just for you. I can’t speak to you what the spirit wants you to hear, but you will hear what the spirit wants you to hear it when you’re studying or reading from your inhabited motives. A pure methodical ken will lead you and guide you to the celestialized aspiration. Now to tie this all back into what brought about this verbose text, I will lay it out for you.
Time is precious, and so are the Daughters of God. People say love is not a game, but yet why do we have so many players? I will be honest to my readers. I find no contentment in filibustering with my eternal salvation nor should one find it “fun” or “be confused about” to waste time in hopes that “it” works itself out. Sure it has taken time and effort to swing my understanding-sledge-hammer at the walls of “security” that’s taken me a life time to build, but those walls have created a fissure for people to peak at me and identify a witness of who I am.
So now that I’m done speaking my mind, all I ask of girls is that if you don’t know what you want, just say it. Please don’t play it off with time in hopes that he will just disappear, (because he wont) but be polite and say, “I’d rather spend time as friends first and if it moves forward from there, we could try it.” I can guarantee that 20 months of my life (5 different girls X 4 months) would have been different had I known…….you never were interested……
Heavenly Father knows best and I know he is looking out for me. I can testify that he is aware of me and is constantly working on me so that I my be thrusted back into the blacksmiths coals to yet be refined again in the beatings and refinement process that I’m about to under go.
I have forgiven and forgotten.
As you may wonder what in the world could have pushed me to this insanity, it’s easily elucidated in the vicinity of a vivid or brilliant self-importance. As an ongoing attempt to complete this process, I strive for a personal witness of one thing and one thing only. You too can have this witness if you let the spirit testify to you through the light of Christ that you have been blessed with. It’s found in a talk by Virginia H. Pearce titled the Grand Truths of Eternity. Now you might ask yourself why I don’t just come out and tell you the veracity of my intentions but what are you to learn if I just tell you? I dare not steal the infinite and measureless opportunity for you to be taught by your Father in Heaven. Its like those times when you are reading the scriptures, you come across something immaculate and you go to share it and it’s as if it’s no longer where you found it the forefend context made just for you. I can’t speak to you what the spirit wants you to hear, but you will hear what the spirit wants you to hear it when you’re studying or reading from your inhabited motives. A pure methodical ken will lead you and guide you to the celestialized aspiration. Now to tie this all back into what brought about this verbose text, I will lay it out for you.
Time is precious, and so are the Daughters of God. People say love is not a game, but yet why do we have so many players? I will be honest to my readers. I find no contentment in filibustering with my eternal salvation nor should one find it “fun” or “be confused about” to waste time in hopes that “it” works itself out. Sure it has taken time and effort to swing my understanding-sledge-hammer at the walls of “security” that’s taken me a life time to build, but those walls have created a fissure for people to peak at me and identify a witness of who I am.
So now that I’m done speaking my mind, all I ask of girls is that if you don’t know what you want, just say it. Please don’t play it off with time in hopes that he will just disappear, (because he wont) but be polite and say, “I’d rather spend time as friends first and if it moves forward from there, we could try it.” I can guarantee that 20 months of my life (5 different girls X 4 months) would have been different had I known…….you never were interested……
Heavenly Father knows best and I know he is looking out for me. I can testify that he is aware of me and is constantly working on me so that I my be thrusted back into the blacksmiths coals to yet be refined again in the beatings and refinement process that I’m about to under go.
I have forgiven and forgotten.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The passings of a friend
Distraughtly walking into the chapel after a member of the Bishop Bric asked us to come together, we all wonder why we were conjoining back into the chapel.
The elders quarm president, Dan Taylor took his next step towards progression today....to a more exalted sphere.
I never sobbed so hard. Unexpected occasions happen, that's what slapped me in the face. A defining moment in my life made me weep. I have so many corrections to make in my life and it seems like past experiences didn't hit me hard enough. It'll be hard to see him go, but at the same time, how grateful I am to have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. Saying a prayer in my heart for his family, I only pray that they will have the enabling power of the atonement working in their lives as they recognize that all will be well.
I'll miss you Dan
The elders quarm president, Dan Taylor took his next step towards progression today....to a more exalted sphere.
I never sobbed so hard. Unexpected occasions happen, that's what slapped me in the face. A defining moment in my life made me weep. I have so many corrections to make in my life and it seems like past experiences didn't hit me hard enough. It'll be hard to see him go, but at the same time, how grateful I am to have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. Saying a prayer in my heart for his family, I only pray that they will have the enabling power of the atonement working in their lives as they recognize that all will be well.
I'll miss you Dan
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Spoken words on a keyboard.
I was once told that when you want to write, you are to just let the words fall as they may and then go back and fix them. Seeing how this is just a basic entry, I really don't care to go back and fix anything because I rather be known for what I have to say then try to butter up my words (even though I do at times) Spoken verbatim, at least for me, there are times when I hope that people will do one of two things when I'm speaking. Whether it be in a crowd, teaching, or just a one on one moment to seize, is when I pray that it's understood. I know that I'm not the best of person to open up when explaining these things but I think in honestly, it's one of the few things I can justify when I say it's a guy thing.
One: When a guy is talking........just listen, don't add to what he's already dealing with, he'll work it out, really. So, just listen.
Two: If he asks a question, just answer it, please don't answer with a question because that doesn't help us one bit, EVER! oh yeah, and if there isn't a question, don't try to answer what he is sharing with you, he's doing that, just sharing.
Iscrutable experiences are at times what keeps us going for the sense of adventure and we need in order to succeed and find self-worth. Not all at once will certain happenings acknowledge our needs but it sure has a lot to teach us. If at times there is a blank stare of ken in our minds eye, there is more to be sought then just the adverage answer that soceity will fill your head with. Welp!
One: When a guy is talking........just listen, don't add to what he's already dealing with, he'll work it out, really. So, just listen.
Two: If he asks a question, just answer it, please don't answer with a question because that doesn't help us one bit, EVER! oh yeah, and if there isn't a question, don't try to answer what he is sharing with you, he's doing that, just sharing.
Iscrutable experiences are at times what keeps us going for the sense of adventure and we need in order to succeed and find self-worth. Not all at once will certain happenings acknowledge our needs but it sure has a lot to teach us. If at times there is a blank stare of ken in our minds eye, there is more to be sought then just the adverage answer that soceity will fill your head with. Welp!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Fate
This is a email that I sent to a couple of friends and found it interesting. Just thought I would post it here.
Carolyn & Mike Lesch,
Carolyn & Mike Lesch,
It's great to hear from you, I apologize it's taken me so long to get back to you. I'll be moving out of my house (cause I still live at home) and I'm going to take my 87 comanche with me. I'll then start the tear-down process and learn the ins and outs of my jeep because I bought a new comanche....haha. I want to learn everything I can about it. My newer Jeep (new to me) is a 90 comanche eliminator. I've decided to go all out, but I dont have a picture yet. However, here are the specs:
8" lift
cut finders
35X12.5
Dana 44 rear w/power on lockers
MileMarker Hub conversion kit front
94 cherokee motor
4.88 gears
quick release sway bar
3.88 Atlas Transfer case with independant axle shifters
and an exterior roll cage
I'll have to get you a picture soon, it's pretty sweet look'n! I can't wait to take it down to moab. I'm thinking about going with my Brother in Law who is way experienced and fun to go with in October, who knows. How are things going in your neck of the woods? My dad is running for mayor here in ogden and keeping me busy.
Mike, occasionally I reminisce about our trip and the short time we had down there but when I was thinking about that trip the other day and our conversation on FATE. When I was trying to explain that it's not so much that we become upset at fate but we need to look at the picture and think what "fate" was trying to teach us. So, let me back up a bit and explain my new addition of knowledge.
I remember commenting that fate is bound to happen.....however, my thoughts have changed on that. The other day I was I think at church and someone made a comment that I don't think anyone else took into consideration, but he said...."don't temp fate"
That gave me a whole new meaning because fate is what WILL happen and NOT supposed to happen when you make a decision that isn't meant to be. Now in spiritual terms, people will tell you that God has a plan for you and everything is according to his will. However, in his will, there are two paths that we can take in order to understand and learn for our better knowledge of why we are here and what we are supposed to learn. His path is not fate, it's destiny.
Destiny is the will or principle caused by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do because of choices we make.
Fate is defering the understanding and knowledge to be learned, is left up to us on how we learn... not Gods way, because gods way will teach you so well that you don't question what is being taught, but if you have to teach yourself, can you learn everything you need to about that situation?
And then the second part ties right into what we were talking about that night. It's not so much to judge fate and ask ourselves "are we to hate or blame fate for this?" but to ask, what is to be taught here.
As I think of an inevitable and often adverse outcome, condition, or end, fate would fit that slogan but so would destiny, it just depends on how you recognize the two!
Well, I won't bore you much anymore but I'd love to hear from you again and I'll try to get a picture to you soon!
Take Care,
Trevor Hansen
I never really thought of it being that way but when the Lord intends for you to learn something, one way or another, it's going to happen. And when you think about it, he's such a wonderful parent because he's always teaching us with guidance and commandments to utilize in our daily lives! How amazing!
I never really thought of it being that way but when the Lord intends for you to learn something, one way or another, it's going to happen. And when you think about it, he's such a wonderful parent because he's always teaching us with guidance and commandments to utilize in our daily lives! How amazing!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Who would have known?
In cleft spaces, memories are forthcoming in which I hope erudition is obtained. When people are around me are deficient in contributing to fortifying their wonts, dissipation takes it’s place and comprehension of me, a Son of God, goes dormant and crawls right back into that cleavage.
The insensitive finite thoughts that render the source to enable an effect of actions are what cause the bypass of learning about a Soul. I feel like people do that so often to me. Just one of many times I’ll share. Having these sensations for this individual, I always persuaded myself to think that if I could just make things work, this could turn into something far greater than I could ever foresee. Holding close to the experiences and times that I spent with her, I’ll never replace them with meager selfishness thoughts of; what did I do wrong?
Times have since moved on and explanations are no longer elucidated. If the time comes for a conversation that leads to other movement in life, so be it. But as for myself, my decision has been made and I have had to move on due to time constrains and the desire of another being.
All of this thought process came because of a discussion. But the bottom line of the feelings I have is that I know and understand that I’m an elect Son of God…….
……Striving for 100%
The insensitive finite thoughts that render the source to enable an effect of actions are what cause the bypass of learning about a Soul. I feel like people do that so often to me. Just one of many times I’ll share. Having these sensations for this individual, I always persuaded myself to think that if I could just make things work, this could turn into something far greater than I could ever foresee. Holding close to the experiences and times that I spent with her, I’ll never replace them with meager selfishness thoughts of; what did I do wrong?
Times have since moved on and explanations are no longer elucidated. If the time comes for a conversation that leads to other movement in life, so be it. But as for myself, my decision has been made and I have had to move on due to time constrains and the desire of another being.
All of this thought process came because of a discussion. But the bottom line of the feelings I have is that I know and understand that I’m an elect Son of God…….
……Striving for 100%
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Joys of new beginnings
Starting my new jobs at Market Star is amazing. I'm a National Event Manager and have the say for what goes in my Region, I love it. I never thought that I would in a managing position but I kind of like it. Yeah, it has its ups and downs but the best additive about it is the people I work with and the environment. I don't think I could ask for better people to be around and know that they are here to help me. The validation of the blessings of the Lord is always recognizable when you really want to see it, you may have to ask at times, but it's always feasible if you really want it bad enough. It has taken me six months to find a job that I finally looked forward to applying for but in return, I know that I'm not only her for a job. One of the reasons I know that I'm here is because of who I am. The other day, I sent this email to a gal that I work closely with and I told her how much I appreciate what she does and for making my job easier. In return, she mentioned that out of all the NEG Managers (like 8 or 9 of ) I have been the only one to thank her for what she is doing. I know that it'll make a difference for her and for me in the work environment.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Every day encounter....
Pros and cons of living at home take their toll. I for one wish I could move out and be on my own for awhile just to test out the wakes of life and to see how well I can handle it. I understand that when you move out, you're not only paying rent ( or payments), bills, food and the cost of living, but the very lucrative experience of living on your own and having 100% freedom in the everyday choices that you face. There isn't a day go by where some one questions what I'm doing, or what is being done to do what I should be doing. I understand completely the responsibilities that I have living under this roof that I'm thankful for but is there ever any give and take?
grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
There are times that I strive to make the best of all things but often it takes a number and is emotionally sifting me often. There are the little things that keep my head above water and treading lightly, prayers and studies. But in a recent conversation I had with a close friend, the basics of scripture study and verbal prayers will not reach to the law of minimum/maximum. The law of minimum/maximum is the actions you live by in order to obtain revelation for yourself to know whether the spirit will corroborate your choices. Just like the importance of putting your calling before everything else while your single.
grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
There are times that I strive to make the best of all things but often it takes a number and is emotionally sifting me often. There are the little things that keep my head above water and treading lightly, prayers and studies. But in a recent conversation I had with a close friend, the basics of scripture study and verbal prayers will not reach to the law of minimum/maximum. The law of minimum/maximum is the actions you live by in order to obtain revelation for yourself to know whether the spirit will corroborate your choices. Just like the importance of putting your calling before everything else while your single.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Basic Learning Curves
Just last night I had the opportunity to talk with one of my buddies about the situations in life and how it can help us become the people we are this very day and age!
The conversation started out in discussing how society controls the circumstances or views that girls think when it comes to a guy asking them out…
Me personally, I don’t have a problem just randomly walking up to a girl and asking her out if I’m in the right situation to ask her (such as a church activity or I can see that it’s in my favor to help the situation) then I’m all game, but when she is around her friends and she questions whether to say yes or no because of what her friends think, is where things get rough! As I ponder the very situations where I have become involved, it was all because the girls I approached have thought on their own, no outside help was granted. I personally am content with being single and will be until love unfolds, but the dating games and girls playing them are what get on my nerves. I just recently read a comment from a girl on myspace and she said that guys need to stop being jerks and to stop breaking girls hearts but does she understand that it is a two way street? Makes me wonder.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Being pushed up against the wall
Not being able to figure out why
People say it will be all ok
Sitting in one place that no one knows
And pondering what is really going on
People say it will be all ok
Understanding the cause of your purpose
To enlighten the path where the foot meets the road
People say it will be all ok
Being forgotten when the party is over
All because you were being yourself
People say it will all be ok
People say it will all be ok
And people still say it will be ok
But when they attempt to judge you because they've walked a mile in your shoes...........why should they care.......they have your shoes and are a mile away?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
Not being able to figure out why
People say it will be all ok
Sitting in one place that no one knows
And pondering what is really going on
People say it will be all ok
Understanding the cause of your purpose
To enlighten the path where the foot meets the road
People say it will be all ok
Being forgotten when the party is over
All because you were being yourself
People say it will all be ok
People say it will all be ok
And people still say it will be ok
But when they attempt to judge you because they've walked a mile in your shoes...........why should they care.......they have your shoes and are a mile away?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Passing of time.
Within these very words are works of verity. I'm not too sure there are more than 2 people that read this one being myself. For people who care to really snatch the opportunity to seek me out, here it is. I often do lack in explaining a lot of things but I'm careless in hiding many more things because it's so much easier to be understood than to be sought. I think about the many things I talk about with a choice friend that seems so interested in my God-given knowledge that I sometimes wonder if that's why she sticks around (which I know it isn't the ONLY reason).
The longing for friends is still a player in my mind and something I'm consistently working at. One of the biggest frustrations I'm always battling is just that, of putting myself out to a level of vulnerability and chance. Who is life isn't out to make a few friends? I'm myself will never fight to be found with the group that is almost unoticeable however, the leaves may fall where unwanted experiences occure but the more I see it come to pass, all people have a general impact on someone.
ok so maybe I won't finish this entry because that is all that is supposed to be intended so there you have it.
The longing for friends is still a player in my mind and something I'm consistently working at. One of the biggest frustrations I'm always battling is just that, of putting myself out to a level of vulnerability and chance. Who is life isn't out to make a few friends? I'm myself will never fight to be found with the group that is almost unoticeable however, the leaves may fall where unwanted experiences occure but the more I see it come to pass, all people have a general impact on someone.
ok so maybe I won't finish this entry because that is all that is supposed to be intended so there you have it.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Remember
Reputation - Click for def.
Character - Click for def.
In my eyes from the two: Reputation is the search in which man is after when he's forgotten his purpose. And Character is based upon your relationship with God for he DOES know who your true character is.
Many a time in life, the search for mans happiness is inscrutable because of how erratic ones vision has become in life. I know that at times when I'm feeling down or depressed, it's at the moment there should follow with a self-evaluation that helps you refocus on the little things that can be worked out line upon line, precept upon precept. The verity of the situation is, too often we seek out the luxuries of life when in fact it should come down to the relevancy of how one is to act upon the knowledge that they have been blessed with. We always find ourselves trying to run this duple rhythm when in fact we are completely out of line with His ideas and His will but yet if we can modify that "ONE" self-inflicted encumbrance all because of the loss vision, life becomes easier.
If you take a look at this picture of a bamboo tree, what do you see different than any other tree or do you even notice anything? That's perfectly fine if you don't notice it but let me point out something a Filipino taught me while serving my mission in that beautiful place of the
Philippines. As this bamboo tree is fully flourished, at the top it's hung over to the point of the tip is pointing back down at the earth. It reaches to it's limits only to point itself down back at the ground, why? The same analogy as a wheat in the tare that is found in the scriptures. How does wheat stand when it has no seed? Straight up, as if it is the only one, no different from the others. When it fact that stalk has no seed which represents character. Same as this bamboo, replete of it's seed, remembers its maker. And bows.
Now think of yourself. Are you worried about your seed being harvested or fallen? If it is to be harvested, what will happen? A countless number of things will come about.....If it is to be fallen.... you become lost, alone and selfishly thinking you are forgotten.
These seeds that we are blessed, is a part of our character. Giving us experience that we soon draw upon to have a complete grok of what we are to become. I was attending institute and while we were talking about the discussion we had in Helaman 14:30 and that's when this thought found a fissure into my mind.....
"Often we forget that trials and tribulations are the process in which we build our character to that standard in which makes our potential obtainable or reachable."
Its interesting how we seem to want to stand up straight but forget what it takes to keep us up and going all at the same time. But in the end, we must accept that only through certain ways will we be able to accomplish those journies that teach us in the appreception ways that the Lord uses.
Character - Click for def.
In my eyes from the two: Reputation is the search in which man is after when he's forgotten his purpose. And Character is based upon your relationship with God for he DOES know who your true character is.
Many a time in life, the search for mans happiness is inscrutable because of how erratic ones vision has become in life. I know that at times when I'm feeling down or depressed, it's at the moment there should follow with a self-evaluation that helps you refocus on the little things that can be worked out line upon line, precept upon precept. The verity of the situation is, too often we seek out the luxuries of life when in fact it should come down to the relevancy of how one is to act upon the knowledge that they have been blessed with. We always find ourselves trying to run this duple rhythm when in fact we are completely out of line with His ideas and His will but yet if we can modify that "ONE" self-inflicted encumbrance all because of the loss vision, life becomes easier.
If you take a look at this picture of a bamboo tree, what do you see different than any other tree or do you even notice anything? That's perfectly fine if you don't notice it but let me point out something a Filipino taught me while serving my mission in that beautiful place of the
Philippines. As this bamboo tree is fully flourished, at the top it's hung over to the point of the tip is pointing back down at the earth. It reaches to it's limits only to point itself down back at the ground, why? The same analogy as a wheat in the tare that is found in the scriptures. How does wheat stand when it has no seed? Straight up, as if it is the only one, no different from the others. When it fact that stalk has no seed which represents character. Same as this bamboo, replete of it's seed, remembers its maker. And bows. Now think of yourself. Are you worried about your seed being harvested or fallen? If it is to be harvested, what will happen? A countless number of things will come about.....If it is to be fallen.... you become lost, alone and selfishly thinking you are forgotten.
These seeds that we are blessed, is a part of our character. Giving us experience that we soon draw upon to have a complete grok of what we are to become. I was attending institute and while we were talking about the discussion we had in Helaman 14:30 and that's when this thought found a fissure into my mind.....
"Often we forget that trials and tribulations are the process in which we build our character to that standard in which makes our potential obtainable or reachable."
Its interesting how we seem to want to stand up straight but forget what it takes to keep us up and going all at the same time. But in the end, we must accept that only through certain ways will we be able to accomplish those journies that teach us in the appreception ways that the Lord uses.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Frustrations or Learnings?
This time seems to be a stand-still point in my life as I strive to learn of where I need to go and what I need to do. I've been really particular lately about certain aspect pertaining to my life and it is quite the journey this has turned into as I thought that I wouldn't need to look at it so much.
......... new topic...............
I have been cleaning out my room/other places that my stuff has been found in and it's amazing what a person can write at the age they are.
I was looking through this box that I had saved from middle school and high school and came across this letter that I wrote to this girl that I really like in seminary. I completely chased her away because I never saw her again and I'm sure that if I received a letter like that when I was a senior and he was a sophomore, I wouldn't know what to think. That letter I tossed because of the negativity in it. It really wasn't that bad but I was expressing my concern to someone I saw that gave me a chance to let them see who I was......man was I off. The one time Shayla talked to me, she showed interest, and that moment sparked interest that I could very well find a friend in high school. With the letter I attached.........
~*~* You Mean a Lot to Me ~*~*
Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them....when the moment you can feel them under your fingertips you miss them? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wish you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...but if you don't you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't like. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on it's own and when you least expect it, or ever when you don't want it to, it's bound to happen. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you have it? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much....for the fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? Or fell for a close friend (maybe a best friend) in the entire world, and then watched him/her fall for someone else? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid....afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie...the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No on waits forever...but if someone does.......I'll be there for you
**I'll be there**
When no one is there for you and you think that no one cares
**I'll be there**
When the whole world walks out on you and you think that you're alone
**I'll be there**
When the one you care about the most couldn't careless about you
**I'll be there**
When the one you gave your heart to and throws it in your face
**I'll be there**
When the person you trusted betrayed you
**I'll be there**
When the person you share all your memories with and even forgets your birthday
**I'll be there**
When all your need is a friend and someone to listen to you whine
**I'll be there**
When all your need is someone to catch your tears
**I'll be there**
When your heart hurts so bad and you can't even breathe
**I'll be there**
When you just want to crawl up and die and when you start to cry
**I'll be there**
After hearing that sad song or when the tears just won't stop falling
**I'll be there**
So you see **I'll be there** for you and this is a promise I can make if you ever need me just give me a call and............**I'll be there**
I think about this experience and what it entails. I had a recent conversation with a friend about the removal of walls and the fundamentals of what it can do for us The mighty change of heart that is bound to happen when you accompany your desire to desecrate these wall and the will of the Lord, the moment verifies the action of blessings to be poured upon us because I no longer become the victim of being acted upon. What a miracle that is in itself to see that we become agents unto ourselves and the purpose of life no longer evolves around us.
......... new topic...............
I have been cleaning out my room/other places that my stuff has been found in and it's amazing what a person can write at the age they are.
I was looking through this box that I had saved from middle school and high school and came across this letter that I wrote to this girl that I really like in seminary. I completely chased her away because I never saw her again and I'm sure that if I received a letter like that when I was a senior and he was a sophomore, I wouldn't know what to think. That letter I tossed because of the negativity in it. It really wasn't that bad but I was expressing my concern to someone I saw that gave me a chance to let them see who I was......man was I off. The one time Shayla talked to me, she showed interest, and that moment sparked interest that I could very well find a friend in high school. With the letter I attached.........
~*~* You Mean a Lot to Me ~*~*
Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them....when the moment you can feel them under your fingertips you miss them? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wish you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...but if you don't you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't like. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on it's own and when you least expect it, or ever when you don't want it to, it's bound to happen. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you have it? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much....for the fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? Or fell for a close friend (maybe a best friend) in the entire world, and then watched him/her fall for someone else? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid....afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie...the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No on waits forever...but if someone does.......I'll be there for you
**I'll be there**
When no one is there for you and you think that no one cares
**I'll be there**
When the whole world walks out on you and you think that you're alone
**I'll be there**
When the one you care about the most couldn't careless about you
**I'll be there**
When the one you gave your heart to and throws it in your face
**I'll be there**
When the person you trusted betrayed you
**I'll be there**
When the person you share all your memories with and even forgets your birthday
**I'll be there**
When all your need is a friend and someone to listen to you whine
**I'll be there**
When all your need is someone to catch your tears
**I'll be there**
When your heart hurts so bad and you can't even breathe
**I'll be there**
When you just want to crawl up and die and when you start to cry
**I'll be there**
After hearing that sad song or when the tears just won't stop falling
**I'll be there**
So you see **I'll be there** for you and this is a promise I can make if you ever need me just give me a call and............**I'll be there**
I think about this experience and what it entails. I had a recent conversation with a friend about the removal of walls and the fundamentals of what it can do for us The mighty change of heart that is bound to happen when you accompany your desire to desecrate these wall and the will of the Lord, the moment verifies the action of blessings to be poured upon us because I no longer become the victim of being acted upon. What a miracle that is in itself to see that we become agents unto ourselves and the purpose of life no longer evolves around us.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Faith
More less than often I get these urges to dive intricately thru the scriptures, doctrine and many other resources to prolong my knowledge in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
My latest topic would be that of a simple ken, prevalently spoken of and calmly applied to draw the powers of heaven. We......I too often forget the walls that must contain my faith and therefore, I struggle to seize the blessing at hand and wait for a more transparent opportunity to recognize.
A pattern of success is constituted by acts of faith shown by: Trust in the Lord, Obedience to His commandments, Sensitivity to the spirits promptings and exercising patience and understanding that God, over a matter of time will answer your prayers, according to His will that best fits us. It's a simple understanding that God uses YOUR faith to mold YOUR character.
However, a question that proceeds my thoughts is: What verifies my character? To me, my character is made up of my success and my success is verified by all my mistakes that it's taken me to get there. Ok, maybe, maybe not, but the fact is there is a compound that regulates our faith in accordance with action. That compound is: Doctrine, Principle, and Obedience. Application of all three requirements weaves your Divine character.
"Faith is not only the principle of action, but is also the principle of power in all intelligents beings, whether in heaven or on earth."
That very quote itself remedies that God himself must act upon Faith also to carry out his will/purpose. If you behold the promises that He shows, Mormon 9:21 does a prime effort to tenderly teach us that humble prayer accompanied with faith shows that if we are truly in tune with His divine work ship, .........your wish is my command.......
I wish my thoughts would continue!!!! Grrrrrrr.... times like this I wonder why my mind jumps around and my thoughts seem to go right out the window???!!!
My latest topic would be that of a simple ken, prevalently spoken of and calmly applied to draw the powers of heaven. We......I too often forget the walls that must contain my faith and therefore, I struggle to seize the blessing at hand and wait for a more transparent opportunity to recognize.
A pattern of success is constituted by acts of faith shown by: Trust in the Lord, Obedience to His commandments, Sensitivity to the spirits promptings and exercising patience and understanding that God, over a matter of time will answer your prayers, according to His will that best fits us. It's a simple understanding that God uses YOUR faith to mold YOUR character.
However, a question that proceeds my thoughts is: What verifies my character? To me, my character is made up of my success and my success is verified by all my mistakes that it's taken me to get there. Ok, maybe, maybe not, but the fact is there is a compound that regulates our faith in accordance with action. That compound is: Doctrine, Principle, and Obedience. Application of all three requirements weaves your Divine character.
"Faith is not only the principle of action, but is also the principle of power in all intelligents beings, whether in heaven or on earth."
That very quote itself remedies that God himself must act upon Faith also to carry out his will/purpose. If you behold the promises that He shows, Mormon 9:21 does a prime effort to tenderly teach us that humble prayer accompanied with faith shows that if we are truly in tune with His divine work ship, .........your wish is my command.......
I wish my thoughts would continue!!!! Grrrrrrr.... times like this I wonder why my mind jumps around and my thoughts seem to go right out the window???!!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Dedication
A man who has decided that he will BECOME, not strive to be!
If I only had that talent! I love it!!!
If I only had that talent! I love it!!!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Stupid Email part 2
RED
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Nope
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper?
Brodie Morrison
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
Haha, sure have
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
I don't get that mad, I just get sad and then make them feel bad.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell/scream?
Yell but I try not to get to that point
6. How do you deal with stress?
I don't......it eats me alive
ORANGE
1. Has anyone ever thrown you a suprise party?
Nope
2. Are you easily excited?
Not really unless I'm street racing
3. What event is coming up that your most excited about?
Jan 17, 2007 I'm speaking in a high school.
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Nope
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper?
Brodie Morrison
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
Haha, sure have
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
I don't get that mad, I just get sad and then make them feel bad.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell/scream?
Yell but I try not to get to that point
6. How do you deal with stress?
I don't......it eats me alive
ORANGE
1. Has anyone ever thrown you a suprise party?
Nope
2. Are you easily excited?
Not really unless I'm street racing
3. What event is coming up that your most excited about?
Jan 17, 2007 I'm speaking in a high school.
4. Which of your friends is most excitable?
Brandy
5. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?
RETIREMENT!
6. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
Eternal Life
YELLOW
1. NAME?
Trevor N. Hansen
2. Where were you born?
Ogden , UT
3. What is your main goal in life?
Live up to my Character
4. Do you want to have kids?
Yes
5. How do you want to die?
exciting, however
GREEN
1. Do you like this color?
Nope
2. Gay Marriage?
3. Lowering the drinking age?
Who is going to tell you how old you have to be to drink?
4. Recycling?
yeah, sure
BLUE
1. What was your latest dream?
I prefer not to talk about it.
2. Have any of your dreams come true?
Nope
3. Do you usually remember your dreams?
Sometimes
4. What was the weirdest dream you've ever had?
Watching myself die
PURPLE
1. Straight, Gay, Bi?
Straight
?? Where did number 2 go??
( gay and bi ranaway with it)
3. Do you have a crush?
Nope
4. Who is the best "hugger" that you know?
By far..............Brandy
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in Lust at first sight.
Ya know, I don't know how many people really read these things and a lot of people always want to know about ME and who ME is. I love answering these questions because it explains why you are the way you are, not who you are. I look at these and just laugh because, honestly, who cares about the email itself? Ya, your friends care to know, but they don't care for the email....I love it.......oh hey, look another one!!
2. The first person you hugged?
Brandy
3. The first person you called?
Brandy
4. The first person you texted?
Brandy
5. The first drink you drank?
Apple cider
6. The first person that called you?
Brandy
7. The first person that texted you?
Anybody guess.....Brandy
8. Have you talked to all of your top 8 yet?
Yep
9. Any of them?
(i think I should take #9 out)
10. Who was the 1st person to hang up on you?
No one has done that to me ever
11. What was the first thing you watched on TV?
I don't watch tv that often
12. Who was the first person you thought of?
Brandy, who else?
13. What was the first thing you ate?
Candy
14. What were you wearing at midnight?
Nothing, I was running around naked, what else would I have on? clothes!
15. First Kiss?
Brandy
16. First fight?
It wasn't a fight, it was a discussion......with Brandy
17. First Laugh?
Brandy
18. First person to say 'I love you'?
My family and Brandy.
Does anybody see a pattern here? Yeah.......I do..........
3. Do you have a crush?
Nope
4. Who is the best "hugger" that you know?
By far..............Brandy
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in Lust at first sight.
Ya know, I don't know how many people really read these things and a lot of people always want to know about ME and who ME is. I love answering these questions because it explains why you are the way you are, not who you are. I look at these and just laugh because, honestly, who cares about the email itself? Ya, your friends care to know, but they don't care for the email....I love it.......oh hey, look another one!!
1. Who was the first person you talked to in 07?
Brandy
Brandy
2. The first person you hugged?
Brandy
3. The first person you called?
Brandy
4. The first person you texted?
Brandy
5. The first drink you drank?
Apple cider
6. The first person that called you?
Brandy
7. The first person that texted you?
Anybody guess.....Brandy
8. Have you talked to all of your top 8 yet?
Yep
9. Any of them?
(i think I should take #9 out)
10. Who was the 1st person to hang up on you?
No one has done that to me ever
11. What was the first thing you watched on TV?
I don't watch tv that often
12. Who was the first person you thought of?
Brandy, who else?
13. What was the first thing you ate?
Candy
14. What were you wearing at midnight?
Nothing, I was running around naked, what else would I have on? clothes!
15. First Kiss?
Brandy
16. First fight?
It wasn't a fight, it was a discussion......with Brandy
17. First Laugh?
Brandy
18. First person to say 'I love you'?
Does anybody see a pattern here? Yeah.......I do..........
Monday, January 15, 2007
Stupid Email Junk for EVERYONE
| 1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No 2. What song describes your relationship status? Stay with me....Clint Mansell 3. How much does your dog weigh? Why does it matter, he'd still taste the same :) 4. Are you a heart breaker, or the heart breakee? It's been mutual 5. Ever waxed your legs? Nope 6. Earrings or necklaces? necklaces 7. Who have you talked to most today? Myself 8. Do you listen to sad or happy songs when you're sad? I listen to my "chill" playlist 9. Friend of the opposite sex that lives closest to you? West Point 10. Color of your shirt your wearing? White 11. Who's the first on your favorites list on myspace? Myspace is an abomination 12. Who's on speed dial 5? I don't have that many people to put on speed dial 13. What color is your background on your computer mainly? Grey 14. Do you wish on 11:11? Nope 15. Good advice if you ever go camping? Don't take anything that belongs to civilization 16. Are you a bad influence? I try not to be 17. What color are your eyes? black ok....dark dark brown 18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name? Mine 19. Would you do anything for someone? for the most part 20. Have you ever been called a whore? Yeah, acutally I have been. 21. Favorite color(s)? grey blue and clear 22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? not really 23. What song is on? Techno 24. Are your grades good? 2.7 25. When was the last time you cried? Last week 26. Are you a virgin? Yes 27. Does your best friend have a myspace? I don't think so 28. Who's page did you last visit? Brandy's blog 29. What did you do on your last real date? Ummm......REAL date......I took her up to the top of willard peak, cooked stakes and laid under the stars. 30. Do you watch the Gilmore Girls? Never, bad memories 31. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson? Yes 32. Do you enjoy watching the O.C.? Never seen it 33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.s? Nope 34. Which radio stations are your favorites? Radio Sucks 35. Are you a Lost fanatic? Nope, never seen it 36. Still have pictures of your Ex? Yes and she's one of my best friends 37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? You bet 38. Alanis Morrisette? yep 39. Do you watch Family Guy regularly? Naw, cant stand it 40. King of the Hill? sometimes Admit it 41. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car? nope just causally in tune 42. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home? No, what a way to ruin a perfect shower 43. Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12? yeah and I still do 44. Do you ever think about your ex? Of course, who doesn't? The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary 45. What's your favorite love quote? If love isn't a game.....why are there so many players 46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they weren't? no 47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school? Never really had a crush 48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn't ask her/him out because you were afraid? Yes, who hasn't? 49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life? yes but they always end up complete 50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but your crush? Nope 51. Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance? nope 52. Have you ever really been in love? Yes The Questions You Love: Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones 53. Do you ever freak out about cleanliness or organization? Not uless I want to impress someone 54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa? Nope 55. Do you know how to knit? I used to 56. Do you find yourself attractive? If I have a smile on my face 57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile? No 58. Do you keep a diary or journal online? kind of 59. Has a song ever made you cry? Haha, of course! It's posted here Truly Unusual This or That Questions 60. Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone? Cold Stone for sure!! 61. Physics or chemistry? Chemistry, passed with an apple a day 62. Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip? Mayonnaise 63. Pink or teal? teal, pink is of the devil 64. Earrings or a ring? Rings 65. Commitment or casual dating? Depends, but if you find someone you really like, commitment 66. Dominoes or Pizza Hut? Pizza is pizza 67. Fly or road trip? As long as it's point A to point B 68. Starbucks or Caribou? I've only been to Starbucks, Another Wave of Random Questions 69. What is your favorite Disney movie? Mulan!! 70. How much jewelry do you own? Very little 71. Have you ever bought clothing at Sears? No |
Thursday, January 4, 2007
At a loss for words
Do you ever feel like you have a multitude of words to express yourself but in the attempt to say them, you're bound?
That's how I feel right now. There are so many happenings in my life right now, I wish I could understand them all. Some are life threatening and others you just want to disperse because they appear irrelevant to life? My efforts to understand seem disproportionate because as much as I strive to know what means what, nothing comes. The topics of study I chose, appear to be beaten to a pulp do to the lack of familiarity but I come to believe it's not that but a mear mote that's not connecting the last thought to the blessing. That's my struggle.
Repeated attempts to broaden my knowledge seems to show but never seems to feel complete, well at least to me.
I always find myself finishing these entries days at a time, cut apart in thought and still wonder why I'm sitting here writing. I'm not much of a writer but I do enjoy sharing those particles of information I've been handed thru lengthy processes.
What is everything coming to? Is it me or time? Can the key be understood before it should be?
In my mind, it would help because then you can better prepare yourself for the upcoming events but in a way still learn from them. I myself, still have a multitude of learning's to be had but I stumble with progression, ease and appreciation for the want of being. How my mind processes the things it does, also amazes me but how is it that it sounds so well at speaking but yet bluntly deranged?
A lot of self-evalutation is brought about and there are many things that I'm learning but yet fearing that learning.
That's how I feel right now. There are so many happenings in my life right now, I wish I could understand them all. Some are life threatening and others you just want to disperse because they appear irrelevant to life? My efforts to understand seem disproportionate because as much as I strive to know what means what, nothing comes. The topics of study I chose, appear to be beaten to a pulp do to the lack of familiarity but I come to believe it's not that but a mear mote that's not connecting the last thought to the blessing. That's my struggle.
Repeated attempts to broaden my knowledge seems to show but never seems to feel complete, well at least to me.
I always find myself finishing these entries days at a time, cut apart in thought and still wonder why I'm sitting here writing. I'm not much of a writer but I do enjoy sharing those particles of information I've been handed thru lengthy processes.
What is everything coming to? Is it me or time? Can the key be understood before it should be?
In my mind, it would help because then you can better prepare yourself for the upcoming events but in a way still learn from them. I myself, still have a multitude of learning's to be had but I stumble with progression, ease and appreciation for the want of being. How my mind processes the things it does, also amazes me but how is it that it sounds so well at speaking but yet bluntly deranged?
A lot of self-evalutation is brought about and there are many things that I'm learning but yet fearing that learning.
Monday, January 1, 2007
.
you've added me, you've dropped me
you've helped me, you've shuned me
you've blessed me, you've neglected me
you've showed me, you've left it to me
Friends are there to help, not to hurt. Those that really and truely stick around are those you know should not doubt are there for you. At times we forget that our friends have lives too and sometimes we take for granted the conversations that help us understand when we catch up with them.
I know I have friends that I need to talk to and friends I talk to often, but knowing that I have something to share with all of them is what makes me a good friend.
you've helped me, you've shuned me
you've blessed me, you've neglected me
you've showed me, you've left it to me
Friends are there to help, not to hurt. Those that really and truely stick around are those you know should not doubt are there for you. At times we forget that our friends have lives too and sometimes we take for granted the conversations that help us understand when we catch up with them.
I know I have friends that I need to talk to and friends I talk to often, but knowing that I have something to share with all of them is what makes me a good friend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
