I promise

Te quiero!

The simplicity of word

What you miss the most sometimes isn't understandable until it's encircling you. To hold you, love you, seek you and know you is what makes that that. Only we can say what IT is or what IT can do for us but once IT is there, you know.

To know me is to find me, to find me is to seek me, to seek me is to know me, to know me is to talk to me, and to talk to me, you must love me. Big or small words may come, its under the lines of communication. Tears may come and go but the important knowledge to know about tears is that they release endorphins in your body that are healthy.

Some moment I wish I had.

There is a lot of emotion in that one very thing and it's waiting to be released but yet I don't know how I can bring that about with correct intentions, ya know, not doing it just to do it, but have reason, explanation and direction.


All I can say is that amazement can be the
testimony to completion in ones life and
meet the needs, and that's why you're amazing.

What men know about women............

Pry my tears and release my pain
Cry my tears and stop me from running insane





Pry my tears and take all guilt away
Cry my tears, only to bring me a brighter day





Pry my tears, and take away my stress
Cry my tears; to be with you I’ve truly been blessed





Pry my tears, sing me a song
Cry my tears and no longer will I be alone





Pry my tears and please forgive me
Cry my tears and just help me be





Pry my tears through ups and downs
Cry my tears and erase my frowns





Pry my tears and let me dream
Cry my tears and show me what true love really means





Pry my tears just like before
Cry my tears and then let it rain no more

The grid

Life: Opposition in all things; happiness and sadness
Men's thoughts: paced out, in chunked sections (for the most part)
Women's thoughts: Consistently ongoing, analyzing, mindful

Being on these terms of grounding, has not been easy. Not a road to be traveled nor thought of, unless discipline is absent. Having no job and being put on probation is not making any sense until the thought of this. This perhaps being a prerequisite or in-mind preparation for the fore coming events that will occur. Not an hour goes by without me thinking of her, what she's doing, my concerns for her feelings and I would think why don't I call her or proliferate my communication with her and it comes to the lack of self-mastery. I fear her having to bear my burdens along with her own. How could I be so selfish? Is that not one of the covenants we take upon ourselves at baptism? So what hinders me from making that phone call or pushing myself to have that contact.......I guess a trade in the same sense, if she's going to bear mine, I WANT to bear hers, it's only fair. I'm starting to realize what things I'm taking for granted, like not being so grateful for this genuine soul that is blessing my life all because of her tenacity to exemplify her desires to live a celestial life. I think it's selfishness that keeps me up all hours of the night......really.....why would I be pouring out this thick-inner thoughts at am hours of the day?

She's the closest person to me that understands me, my life, my happenings, fears and jovial moments. How could I not want to talk to her?

I think this is where I recognize yet another imperfection of thoughtlessness. There is no reason for me to NOT call. I will make a change in my life, not just for that but for many reasons that will determine the path of others that come into my life.

I would guess she is wondering why I don't call or am distant, because I have been. How could I do this? But it does make me envisage of why she doesn't call......

I love to see the differences of how we think, and what brightened learning it brings

Woman: "It's cold in here."
Man: "Feels fine to me"
In all hopes, she makes that statement for him to get off his duff and turn up the furnace, get her a blanket, sit next to her to warm her, or just do something to fix the cold. However, he's thinking what he was before the intercession "feels fine to me" came. It was momentarily, not welcome to stay, didn't fit in the current picture. That's why he did nothing, because no action was asked to be carried out. That problem could easily be fixed. She could do it herself, or ask him to do it, simply understood....right? It should be, but isn't. And that's what makes us applicable the vary situations we're in.


A mourning for comprehention to understand; I only hope we are one in knowing all is good and that joy will explode. Please don't stop loving me.

I wish we would all accept a hug! All the same - Sick puppies

I encourage you to watch the video, and then go back and read the lyrics while you listen to it!

Are you willing to make a change??



I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly

I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden

And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
I's all the same

In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same

Go ahead say it you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Falling or Fumbling Words?

There are so many things that I wonder about and ask myself why does it have to be that way? It varies from conversations to situations to consequences and so on. But what is wrong with one view verses the worlds view? Events in my life push me to fore go other paths just because of what I think about various thoughts that provoke my decisions. There is nothing intellectual nor flamboyant about the way I think or talk but my secrets lay within the walls of a contained apperception. My savvy is one that is under construction but I'm consistently laying the foundation for a better ken of what my capacities are. Pushing myself to comprehend my self-enticed goads in life make me wonder why I do the things I do.

Experiences come and go but few find a place to stay depending if I want to make a wont out of it or not. But the purest knowledge you can obtain is by those you associate yourself with. I often wonder if the information I share with those around me really do benefit as much as I see their actions and flicker a mote of a desire to change all because of the way I was treated...yes.....that's a hard lesson for some of us to learn is WE must be the bigger person and GIVE it first before getting it...that's just how life is.......

Experience or Book Smarts?

The number of times you ascertain from a repeated mistake will never compensate for the learning experience of the hard way. How often do we think of the little things we're doing to help us understand the authenticity of habitual actions? I know I don't parse enough thoughts or actions in that aspect until it's been brought to my attention from someone other than myself, seeing how I don't do too well recognizing those exploitments. It's elements (being our learnings) is a set course that has two definite answers or as we understand it, blessings..............and............consequences. There is no other way knowledge is wrought but through those very two adamant teachings. Many a time we hear about problems people struggle with, a few times I’ve heard this referred to as “favorite sins” but, how many of us eagerly wait to be anxiously engaged in a great cause such as: Service, magnifying our callings in life or religious aspects, strive to make someone happier or just plain act in good behavior just because we want to. I think we often vary our course of verity that we “think” we are on but are far off because of the justification that we entitle to ourselves through our agency, trying to deny those truths so elucidating and transparent. The walks of life is a manageable experience that we should all be happy to take on accompanied with responsibility to show forth the egotistical confidence we exhibit but not let it become overflowing. That’s a part of life right there. Finding the middle ground between two diverse worlds per say, and landing that mediocre thinking of how different things work and finding that is nonpareil. There are many charishable moments in our malignant world and it has a lot to offer if we are but willing to search out those things that teach us along the way while in our journey to find a single answer to our questions. I've had to train myself to not want an instant gradification when it comes to learning because you bypass some of the most valuable information when studied out correctly and thought upon heavily. Well, I shall finish this and say, that's all I have for right now.

You and Me - Lifehouse

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

Blinking 12:00

As the moon light graces your face, and the steam rises from the encircleing water, a countenance comes out. Understatements are attempted and tried in conclusion to a failure because the words that should come with these ineffable feelings aren't able to be presant either. Sentimental moments spent on a higher plain has an exhilerating explaination as if you are a clock blinking twelve.

People who have affables awaiting them are like clocks that are blinking twelve. You walk by them, you talk to them, and who knows, you may even be one. In hopes, you keep blinking that someone, someday will pass by you and happen to glance and see that nothing has changed but in reality, you know the date and time but refuse to let anyone else know until they press the right buttons. Or, know the very fissures to slide in that crack in this "wall" that you have built and supposidly won't let anyone in. As if this picture was you........




and then us

looking in.
I think no matter how long one thinks that he or she will keep this all built up and never let go......I can promise that that'll change over a course of time wheather you want it to happen or not. Thru understanding the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the true way to accept that this will happen is to know that an Atonement has been made. Growing closer to those you love, you start to see what they really are. You may be infactuated with them, then again you may not, but as the truth expounds and stays consistent you have nothing more to worry about than unlocking the door from the inside.

Can't fake it.

The crack of a bat.
The swoosh of the net.
The snap of a glove.
The splash from a dive.
And the ding from a driving Iron.


All these sounds are something we live for but yet can't duplicate by scientifically ways. Same with the feelings of what we express through 3 unwary words. I Love You. It never really hit me of the power behind those words because I never used them outside my family matters, never really needed to......until recently. Understanding the ineffable arrays of unspoken words, it's amazing how you can feel that fire (and fire is just a mote of what I felt) without ever having to explain it. It'll only arise at the time it should and can't ever have nor find a counterfeit. Have you ever tried to hit a golf ball with a bat and expect that "Craaaaaaaaaaaaaackk" noise to come from it, if you tried, I can guarantee that you failed miserably, I've been there. Very few times I've told someone I loved them and for the first time, I said because I contemplated, pondered, questioned and forethought it before it fell from my lips. It not only meant something to me but also to the person I said it to. It's definitely something I hope to live for for the rest of my life, just as if I were to make mine own snap of the glove..........of swoosh of the net.

"Welcome To My Life" - Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Nothing original

First things first

Effortless time being spent in one thing brings about pointless results.

As I ponder oft about the endeavors of life, it's amazing to see how prevalent the Lord is in teaching us in his utmost undeviating ways. I put my two weeks in at my current job at Wonder Bread as a route driver and I felt the support from the Lord that I did the right decision but in a weird way, felt like I was letting Brian down. (my boss) I didn't think I was going to become emotional from gaining the courage to talk to him about that and it was relevant to both him and I, that we understand my character and what I brought to the company. I told him that I, by far, was the fortunate one to have him as my boss and from that point on, we exchanged many a word by complements and support. He understands that I need to take care of myself and do what Trevor needs to do in order to move in the direction that will tailor the rest of his career opts.

Well, in comparison to what other things have happen, I tend to see the realities of what I hope to never go thru but yet understand I'll need those experiences to survive the life to come. These entries, I guarantee will just around but to ensure your understanding, I'll try to write more often.

Aww...... Fresh Meat.

The more and more I read my verbose lines of chicken scratch in notes, journals and various other places, I thought I would give this a shot and let people know a little more about me. This is the first thing you should read before any other entry so you'll find it at the first of EVERY entry just so you'll understand a bit better, however, if you've read this once, just bypass that hypertext and you're good to go.

This is my disclaimer that spelling errors stand as MY perfection until I refuse to correct them.......but for those that can only spell so many words only one way, I feel bad, it's like there is a lack of character for those that think they are perfect but aren't. I'm sorry if I just bursted your bubble but, reality check, Matt 5:48 (read the footnote of Perfection). So, I will tell you that these entries may or may not be thought processes, adventures, feelings and or imagination but in fact are the things I wish to say.......so read on...............

What Happened?

What I wanted to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhM0XnuCpj0

What you did to me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22CrTnzFrak

What I ask.
(Lyrics are explict)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7JCcHOnMyw

How I feel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu9uxGP5nL0