As many have come to know, I have recently gotten married. It by far has been the best decision I have ever made!!! I know that some people think it's one of the biggest decisions to make, which it is, however, it's no different than others that I have made. I have been blessed with many unique gifts and though those gifts are sacred, I know that when it comes to communicating with my Father in heaven, it's no different than communicating with anyone else. Of course, His timing is different than typical conversations because when you are engaged in conversing, there is instant replying, answering and question asking. When I prayed and asked my Father in heaven if he agreed with my decision to marry Carlee, it was a conversation that was completely understood. I've never asked Heavenly Father what to do, I've always made my choice, and then taken it to Him and ask Him if he agrees with my decision. There have been times that I didn't know what to do and had to make a decision that I never got an answer to, however, if it wasn't the best choice for me, He provided a way for me to remedy the situation and return to modern life.
I think about the constant nourishment I try to provide my wife in all that I do and say. Oft times I find myself trying to critique my lexicon to ensure that it comes out the way I want it to instead of being taken the wrong way. When I say something that can be taken two ways, I mean the for the lesser to be taken. I never will have the heart to do evil to anyone even though I have my moments about joking to beat up some 13 year old kid that stole $3,000 worth of personal belongings. If I ever have the chance to meet the kid, chances are I'll give him an opportunity to make things right before his life ends up in a less fortunate path.
I've always tried to have the heart to forgive and forget because I too hope that's the case when judgement day comes for me. I have no greater fear than to not be able to stand blameless before my Father in heaven and have to answer to Him for the unkind things I've said or done. I've think one of the greatest gifts I've been blessed with is to be a constant forgiver. As many people don't understand how the atonement came to fruition, I've had dreams that I can't explain but fully understand how it works and how great the purpose is when in use. The atonement is not only for people seeking forgiveness, but also for the forgiver. The forgiver needs the atonement just as much as the forgivee. The application of both the forgiver and forgivee need to understand that without the atonement, neither party can be justified. Just as any law needs to be justified, in any case, there must be opposition in all things.
As aforementioned about opposition in all things, there were times that I needed to just have a moment and muse about those deferring choices that were about to be made. Sure at times I felt like I was at peace just as much as times the adversary was working on me telling me that I needed to stay single...forever. That was something that I just could not swallow. I've lived my whole life in hopes to some day share with my kids why I made the choices I did, and yes, to strut my ego, there were times I made those decisions just so I could say, well if I did it, so can you! I won't lie, it was hard choosing some of the paths that I did, but was it worth not ever compromising my standards, you bet it was. I know I've said it once but I'll say it again, God recognizes character, Man recognizes reputation. On the flip side, if you validate your character with worrying more about Him and less about them, those who seek to find your reputation will only reckon that it's character they seem to find.
I don't have much more to say other than I am loving my married life and look forward to forever with Carlee, she truly is the love of my life!