Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Passing of time.
Within these very words are works of verity. I'm not too sure there are more than 2 people that read this one being myself. For people who care to really snatch the opportunity to seek me out, here it is. I often do lack in explaining a lot of things but I'm careless in hiding many more things because it's so much easier to be understood than to be sought. I think about the many things I talk about with a choice friend that seems so interested in my God-given knowledge that I sometimes wonder if that's why she sticks around (which I know it isn't the ONLY reason).
The longing for friends is still a player in my mind and something I'm consistently working at. One of the biggest frustrations I'm always battling is just that, of putting myself out to a level of vulnerability and chance. Who is life isn't out to make a few friends? I'm myself will never fight to be found with the group that is almost unoticeable however, the leaves may fall where unwanted experiences occure but the more I see it come to pass, all people have a general impact on someone.
ok so maybe I won't finish this entry because that is all that is supposed to be intended so there you have it.
The longing for friends is still a player in my mind and something I'm consistently working at. One of the biggest frustrations I'm always battling is just that, of putting myself out to a level of vulnerability and chance. Who is life isn't out to make a few friends? I'm myself will never fight to be found with the group that is almost unoticeable however, the leaves may fall where unwanted experiences occure but the more I see it come to pass, all people have a general impact on someone.
ok so maybe I won't finish this entry because that is all that is supposed to be intended so there you have it.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Remember
Reputation - Click for def.
Character - Click for def.
In my eyes from the two: Reputation is the search in which man is after when he's forgotten his purpose. And Character is based upon your relationship with God for he DOES know who your true character is.
Many a time in life, the search for mans happiness is inscrutable because of how erratic ones vision has become in life. I know that at times when I'm feeling down or depressed, it's at the moment there should follow with a self-evaluation that helps you refocus on the little things that can be worked out line upon line, precept upon precept. The verity of the situation is, too often we seek out the luxuries of life when in fact it should come down to the relevancy of how one is to act upon the knowledge that they have been blessed with. We always find ourselves trying to run this duple rhythm when in fact we are completely out of line with His ideas and His will but yet if we can modify that "ONE" self-inflicted encumbrance all because of the loss vision, life becomes easier.
If you take a look at this picture of a bamboo tree, what do you see different than any other tree or do you even notice anything? That's perfectly fine if you don't notice it but let me point out something a Filipino taught me while serving my mission in that beautiful place of the
Philippines. As this bamboo tree is fully flourished, at the top it's hung over to the point of the tip is pointing back down at the earth. It reaches to it's limits only to point itself down back at the ground, why? The same analogy as a wheat in the tare that is found in the scriptures. How does wheat stand when it has no seed? Straight up, as if it is the only one, no different from the others. When it fact that stalk has no seed which represents character. Same as this bamboo, replete of it's seed, remembers its maker. And bows.
Now think of yourself. Are you worried about your seed being harvested or fallen? If it is to be harvested, what will happen? A countless number of things will come about.....If it is to be fallen.... you become lost, alone and selfishly thinking you are forgotten.
These seeds that we are blessed, is a part of our character. Giving us experience that we soon draw upon to have a complete grok of what we are to become. I was attending institute and while we were talking about the discussion we had in Helaman 14:30 and that's when this thought found a fissure into my mind.....
"Often we forget that trials and tribulations are the process in which we build our character to that standard in which makes our potential obtainable or reachable."
Its interesting how we seem to want to stand up straight but forget what it takes to keep us up and going all at the same time. But in the end, we must accept that only through certain ways will we be able to accomplish those journies that teach us in the appreception ways that the Lord uses.
Character - Click for def.
In my eyes from the two: Reputation is the search in which man is after when he's forgotten his purpose. And Character is based upon your relationship with God for he DOES know who your true character is.
Many a time in life, the search for mans happiness is inscrutable because of how erratic ones vision has become in life. I know that at times when I'm feeling down or depressed, it's at the moment there should follow with a self-evaluation that helps you refocus on the little things that can be worked out line upon line, precept upon precept. The verity of the situation is, too often we seek out the luxuries of life when in fact it should come down to the relevancy of how one is to act upon the knowledge that they have been blessed with. We always find ourselves trying to run this duple rhythm when in fact we are completely out of line with His ideas and His will but yet if we can modify that "ONE" self-inflicted encumbrance all because of the loss vision, life becomes easier.
If you take a look at this picture of a bamboo tree, what do you see different than any other tree or do you even notice anything? That's perfectly fine if you don't notice it but let me point out something a Filipino taught me while serving my mission in that beautiful place of the
Philippines. As this bamboo tree is fully flourished, at the top it's hung over to the point of the tip is pointing back down at the earth. It reaches to it's limits only to point itself down back at the ground, why? The same analogy as a wheat in the tare that is found in the scriptures. How does wheat stand when it has no seed? Straight up, as if it is the only one, no different from the others. When it fact that stalk has no seed which represents character. Same as this bamboo, replete of it's seed, remembers its maker. And bows. Now think of yourself. Are you worried about your seed being harvested or fallen? If it is to be harvested, what will happen? A countless number of things will come about.....If it is to be fallen.... you become lost, alone and selfishly thinking you are forgotten.
These seeds that we are blessed, is a part of our character. Giving us experience that we soon draw upon to have a complete grok of what we are to become. I was attending institute and while we were talking about the discussion we had in Helaman 14:30 and that's when this thought found a fissure into my mind.....
"Often we forget that trials and tribulations are the process in which we build our character to that standard in which makes our potential obtainable or reachable."
Its interesting how we seem to want to stand up straight but forget what it takes to keep us up and going all at the same time. But in the end, we must accept that only through certain ways will we be able to accomplish those journies that teach us in the appreception ways that the Lord uses.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Frustrations or Learnings?
This time seems to be a stand-still point in my life as I strive to learn of where I need to go and what I need to do. I've been really particular lately about certain aspect pertaining to my life and it is quite the journey this has turned into as I thought that I wouldn't need to look at it so much.
......... new topic...............
I have been cleaning out my room/other places that my stuff has been found in and it's amazing what a person can write at the age they are.
I was looking through this box that I had saved from middle school and high school and came across this letter that I wrote to this girl that I really like in seminary. I completely chased her away because I never saw her again and I'm sure that if I received a letter like that when I was a senior and he was a sophomore, I wouldn't know what to think. That letter I tossed because of the negativity in it. It really wasn't that bad but I was expressing my concern to someone I saw that gave me a chance to let them see who I was......man was I off. The one time Shayla talked to me, she showed interest, and that moment sparked interest that I could very well find a friend in high school. With the letter I attached.........
~*~* You Mean a Lot to Me ~*~*
Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them....when the moment you can feel them under your fingertips you miss them? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wish you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...but if you don't you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't like. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on it's own and when you least expect it, or ever when you don't want it to, it's bound to happen. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you have it? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much....for the fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? Or fell for a close friend (maybe a best friend) in the entire world, and then watched him/her fall for someone else? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid....afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie...the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No on waits forever...but if someone does.......I'll be there for you
**I'll be there**
When no one is there for you and you think that no one cares
**I'll be there**
When the whole world walks out on you and you think that you're alone
**I'll be there**
When the one you care about the most couldn't careless about you
**I'll be there**
When the one you gave your heart to and throws it in your face
**I'll be there**
When the person you trusted betrayed you
**I'll be there**
When the person you share all your memories with and even forgets your birthday
**I'll be there**
When all your need is a friend and someone to listen to you whine
**I'll be there**
When all your need is someone to catch your tears
**I'll be there**
When your heart hurts so bad and you can't even breathe
**I'll be there**
When you just want to crawl up and die and when you start to cry
**I'll be there**
After hearing that sad song or when the tears just won't stop falling
**I'll be there**
So you see **I'll be there** for you and this is a promise I can make if you ever need me just give me a call and............**I'll be there**
I think about this experience and what it entails. I had a recent conversation with a friend about the removal of walls and the fundamentals of what it can do for us The mighty change of heart that is bound to happen when you accompany your desire to desecrate these wall and the will of the Lord, the moment verifies the action of blessings to be poured upon us because I no longer become the victim of being acted upon. What a miracle that is in itself to see that we become agents unto ourselves and the purpose of life no longer evolves around us.
......... new topic...............
I have been cleaning out my room/other places that my stuff has been found in and it's amazing what a person can write at the age they are.
I was looking through this box that I had saved from middle school and high school and came across this letter that I wrote to this girl that I really like in seminary. I completely chased her away because I never saw her again and I'm sure that if I received a letter like that when I was a senior and he was a sophomore, I wouldn't know what to think. That letter I tossed because of the negativity in it. It really wasn't that bad but I was expressing my concern to someone I saw that gave me a chance to let them see who I was......man was I off. The one time Shayla talked to me, she showed interest, and that moment sparked interest that I could very well find a friend in high school. With the letter I attached.........
~*~* You Mean a Lot to Me ~*~*
Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them....when the moment you can feel them under your fingertips you miss them? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wish you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...but if you don't you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't like. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on it's own and when you least expect it, or ever when you don't want it to, it's bound to happen. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you have it? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much....for the fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? Or fell for a close friend (maybe a best friend) in the entire world, and then watched him/her fall for someone else? Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid....afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie...the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No on waits forever...but if someone does.......I'll be there for you
**I'll be there**
When no one is there for you and you think that no one cares
**I'll be there**
When the whole world walks out on you and you think that you're alone
**I'll be there**
When the one you care about the most couldn't careless about you
**I'll be there**
When the one you gave your heart to and throws it in your face
**I'll be there**
When the person you trusted betrayed you
**I'll be there**
When the person you share all your memories with and even forgets your birthday
**I'll be there**
When all your need is a friend and someone to listen to you whine
**I'll be there**
When all your need is someone to catch your tears
**I'll be there**
When your heart hurts so bad and you can't even breathe
**I'll be there**
When you just want to crawl up and die and when you start to cry
**I'll be there**
After hearing that sad song or when the tears just won't stop falling
**I'll be there**
So you see **I'll be there** for you and this is a promise I can make if you ever need me just give me a call and............**I'll be there**
I think about this experience and what it entails. I had a recent conversation with a friend about the removal of walls and the fundamentals of what it can do for us The mighty change of heart that is bound to happen when you accompany your desire to desecrate these wall and the will of the Lord, the moment verifies the action of blessings to be poured upon us because I no longer become the victim of being acted upon. What a miracle that is in itself to see that we become agents unto ourselves and the purpose of life no longer evolves around us.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Faith
More less than often I get these urges to dive intricately thru the scriptures, doctrine and many other resources to prolong my knowledge in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
My latest topic would be that of a simple ken, prevalently spoken of and calmly applied to draw the powers of heaven. We......I too often forget the walls that must contain my faith and therefore, I struggle to seize the blessing at hand and wait for a more transparent opportunity to recognize.
A pattern of success is constituted by acts of faith shown by: Trust in the Lord, Obedience to His commandments, Sensitivity to the spirits promptings and exercising patience and understanding that God, over a matter of time will answer your prayers, according to His will that best fits us. It's a simple understanding that God uses YOUR faith to mold YOUR character.
However, a question that proceeds my thoughts is: What verifies my character? To me, my character is made up of my success and my success is verified by all my mistakes that it's taken me to get there. Ok, maybe, maybe not, but the fact is there is a compound that regulates our faith in accordance with action. That compound is: Doctrine, Principle, and Obedience. Application of all three requirements weaves your Divine character.
"Faith is not only the principle of action, but is also the principle of power in all intelligents beings, whether in heaven or on earth."
That very quote itself remedies that God himself must act upon Faith also to carry out his will/purpose. If you behold the promises that He shows, Mormon 9:21 does a prime effort to tenderly teach us that humble prayer accompanied with faith shows that if we are truly in tune with His divine work ship, .........your wish is my command.......
I wish my thoughts would continue!!!! Grrrrrrr.... times like this I wonder why my mind jumps around and my thoughts seem to go right out the window???!!!
My latest topic would be that of a simple ken, prevalently spoken of and calmly applied to draw the powers of heaven. We......I too often forget the walls that must contain my faith and therefore, I struggle to seize the blessing at hand and wait for a more transparent opportunity to recognize.
A pattern of success is constituted by acts of faith shown by: Trust in the Lord, Obedience to His commandments, Sensitivity to the spirits promptings and exercising patience and understanding that God, over a matter of time will answer your prayers, according to His will that best fits us. It's a simple understanding that God uses YOUR faith to mold YOUR character.
However, a question that proceeds my thoughts is: What verifies my character? To me, my character is made up of my success and my success is verified by all my mistakes that it's taken me to get there. Ok, maybe, maybe not, but the fact is there is a compound that regulates our faith in accordance with action. That compound is: Doctrine, Principle, and Obedience. Application of all three requirements weaves your Divine character.
"Faith is not only the principle of action, but is also the principle of power in all intelligents beings, whether in heaven or on earth."
That very quote itself remedies that God himself must act upon Faith also to carry out his will/purpose. If you behold the promises that He shows, Mormon 9:21 does a prime effort to tenderly teach us that humble prayer accompanied with faith shows that if we are truly in tune with His divine work ship, .........your wish is my command.......
I wish my thoughts would continue!!!! Grrrrrrr.... times like this I wonder why my mind jumps around and my thoughts seem to go right out the window???!!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Dedication
A man who has decided that he will BECOME, not strive to be!
If I only had that talent! I love it!!!
If I only had that talent! I love it!!!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Stupid Email part 2
RED
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Nope
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper?
Brodie Morrison
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
Haha, sure have
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
I don't get that mad, I just get sad and then make them feel bad.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell/scream?
Yell but I try not to get to that point
6. How do you deal with stress?
I don't......it eats me alive
ORANGE
1. Has anyone ever thrown you a suprise party?
Nope
2. Are you easily excited?
Not really unless I'm street racing
3. What event is coming up that your most excited about?
Jan 17, 2007 I'm speaking in a high school.
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Nope
2. Which of your friends has the worst temper?
Brodie Morrison
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
Haha, sure have
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
I don't get that mad, I just get sad and then make them feel bad.
5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell/scream?
Yell but I try not to get to that point
6. How do you deal with stress?
I don't......it eats me alive
ORANGE
1. Has anyone ever thrown you a suprise party?
Nope
2. Are you easily excited?
Not really unless I'm street racing
3. What event is coming up that your most excited about?
Jan 17, 2007 I'm speaking in a high school.
4. Which of your friends is most excitable?
Brandy
5. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought?
RETIREMENT!
6. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
Eternal Life
YELLOW
1. NAME?
Trevor N. Hansen
2. Where were you born?
Ogden , UT
3. What is your main goal in life?
Live up to my Character
4. Do you want to have kids?
Yes
5. How do you want to die?
exciting, however
GREEN
1. Do you like this color?
Nope
2. Gay Marriage?
That's retarded, and so will be your children3. Lowering the drinking age?
Who is going to tell you how old you have to be to drink?
4. Recycling?
yeah, sure
BLUE
1. What was your latest dream?
I prefer not to talk about it.
2. Have any of your dreams come true?
Nope
3. Do you usually remember your dreams?
Sometimes
4. What was the weirdest dream you've ever had?
Watching myself die
PURPLE
1. Straight, Gay, Bi?
Straight
?? Where did number 2 go??
( gay and bi ranaway with it)
3. Do you have a crush?
Nope
4. Who is the best "hugger" that you know?
By far..............Brandy
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in Lust at first sight.
Ya know, I don't know how many people really read these things and a lot of people always want to know about ME and who ME is. I love answering these questions because it explains why you are the way you are, not who you are. I look at these and just laugh because, honestly, who cares about the email itself? Ya, your friends care to know, but they don't care for the email....I love it.......oh hey, look another one!!
2. The first person you hugged?
Brandy
3. The first person you called?
Brandy
4. The first person you texted?
Brandy
5. The first drink you drank?
Apple cider
6. The first person that called you?
Brandy
7. The first person that texted you?
Anybody guess.....Brandy
8. Have you talked to all of your top 8 yet?
Yep
9. Any of them?
(i think I should take #9 out)
10. Who was the 1st person to hang up on you?
No one has done that to me ever
11. What was the first thing you watched on TV?
I don't watch tv that often
12. Who was the first person you thought of?
Brandy, who else?
13. What was the first thing you ate?
Candy
14. What were you wearing at midnight?
Nothing, I was running around naked, what else would I have on? clothes!
15. First Kiss?
Brandy
16. First fight?
It wasn't a fight, it was a discussion......with Brandy
17. First Laugh?
Brandy
18. First person to say 'I love you'?
My family and Brandy.
Does anybody see a pattern here? Yeah.......I do..........
3. Do you have a crush?
Nope
4. Who is the best "hugger" that you know?
By far..............Brandy
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in Lust at first sight.
Ya know, I don't know how many people really read these things and a lot of people always want to know about ME and who ME is. I love answering these questions because it explains why you are the way you are, not who you are. I look at these and just laugh because, honestly, who cares about the email itself? Ya, your friends care to know, but they don't care for the email....I love it.......oh hey, look another one!!
1. Who was the first person you talked to in 07?
Brandy
Brandy
2. The first person you hugged?
Brandy
3. The first person you called?
Brandy
4. The first person you texted?
Brandy
5. The first drink you drank?
Apple cider
6. The first person that called you?
Brandy
7. The first person that texted you?
Anybody guess.....Brandy
8. Have you talked to all of your top 8 yet?
Yep
9. Any of them?
(i think I should take #9 out)
10. Who was the 1st person to hang up on you?
No one has done that to me ever
11. What was the first thing you watched on TV?
I don't watch tv that often
12. Who was the first person you thought of?
Brandy, who else?
13. What was the first thing you ate?
Candy
14. What were you wearing at midnight?
Nothing, I was running around naked, what else would I have on? clothes!
15. First Kiss?
Brandy
16. First fight?
It wasn't a fight, it was a discussion......with Brandy
17. First Laugh?
Brandy
18. First person to say 'I love you'?
Does anybody see a pattern here? Yeah.......I do..........
Monday, January 15, 2007
Stupid Email Junk for EVERYONE
| 1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No 2. What song describes your relationship status? Stay with me....Clint Mansell 3. How much does your dog weigh? Why does it matter, he'd still taste the same :) 4. Are you a heart breaker, or the heart breakee? It's been mutual 5. Ever waxed your legs? Nope 6. Earrings or necklaces? necklaces 7. Who have you talked to most today? Myself 8. Do you listen to sad or happy songs when you're sad? I listen to my "chill" playlist 9. Friend of the opposite sex that lives closest to you? West Point 10. Color of your shirt your wearing? White 11. Who's the first on your favorites list on myspace? Myspace is an abomination 12. Who's on speed dial 5? I don't have that many people to put on speed dial 13. What color is your background on your computer mainly? Grey 14. Do you wish on 11:11? Nope 15. Good advice if you ever go camping? Don't take anything that belongs to civilization 16. Are you a bad influence? I try not to be 17. What color are your eyes? black ok....dark dark brown 18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name? Mine 19. Would you do anything for someone? for the most part 20. Have you ever been called a whore? Yeah, acutally I have been. 21. Favorite color(s)? grey blue and clear 22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? not really 23. What song is on? Techno 24. Are your grades good? 2.7 25. When was the last time you cried? Last week 26. Are you a virgin? Yes 27. Does your best friend have a myspace? I don't think so 28. Who's page did you last visit? Brandy's blog 29. What did you do on your last real date? Ummm......REAL date......I took her up to the top of willard peak, cooked stakes and laid under the stars. 30. Do you watch the Gilmore Girls? Never, bad memories 31. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson? Yes 32. Do you enjoy watching the O.C.? Never seen it 33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.s? Nope 34. Which radio stations are your favorites? Radio Sucks 35. Are you a Lost fanatic? Nope, never seen it 36. Still have pictures of your Ex? Yes and she's one of my best friends 37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? You bet 38. Alanis Morrisette? yep 39. Do you watch Family Guy regularly? Naw, cant stand it 40. King of the Hill? sometimes Admit it 41. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car? nope just causally in tune 42. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home? No, what a way to ruin a perfect shower 43. Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12? yeah and I still do 44. Do you ever think about your ex? Of course, who doesn't? The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary 45. What's your favorite love quote? If love isn't a game.....why are there so many players 46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they weren't? no 47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school? Never really had a crush 48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn't ask her/him out because you were afraid? Yes, who hasn't? 49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life? yes but they always end up complete 50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but your crush? Nope 51. Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance? nope 52. Have you ever really been in love? Yes The Questions You Love: Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones 53. Do you ever freak out about cleanliness or organization? Not uless I want to impress someone 54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa? Nope 55. Do you know how to knit? I used to 56. Do you find yourself attractive? If I have a smile on my face 57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile? No 58. Do you keep a diary or journal online? kind of 59. Has a song ever made you cry? Haha, of course! It's posted here Truly Unusual This or That Questions 60. Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone? Cold Stone for sure!! 61. Physics or chemistry? Chemistry, passed with an apple a day 62. Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip? Mayonnaise 63. Pink or teal? teal, pink is of the devil 64. Earrings or a ring? Rings 65. Commitment or casual dating? Depends, but if you find someone you really like, commitment 66. Dominoes or Pizza Hut? Pizza is pizza 67. Fly or road trip? As long as it's point A to point B 68. Starbucks or Caribou? I've only been to Starbucks, Another Wave of Random Questions 69. What is your favorite Disney movie? Mulan!! 70. How much jewelry do you own? Very little 71. Have you ever bought clothing at Sears? No |
Thursday, January 4, 2007
At a loss for words
Do you ever feel like you have a multitude of words to express yourself but in the attempt to say them, you're bound?
That's how I feel right now. There are so many happenings in my life right now, I wish I could understand them all. Some are life threatening and others you just want to disperse because they appear irrelevant to life? My efforts to understand seem disproportionate because as much as I strive to know what means what, nothing comes. The topics of study I chose, appear to be beaten to a pulp do to the lack of familiarity but I come to believe it's not that but a mear mote that's not connecting the last thought to the blessing. That's my struggle.
Repeated attempts to broaden my knowledge seems to show but never seems to feel complete, well at least to me.
I always find myself finishing these entries days at a time, cut apart in thought and still wonder why I'm sitting here writing. I'm not much of a writer but I do enjoy sharing those particles of information I've been handed thru lengthy processes.
What is everything coming to? Is it me or time? Can the key be understood before it should be?
In my mind, it would help because then you can better prepare yourself for the upcoming events but in a way still learn from them. I myself, still have a multitude of learning's to be had but I stumble with progression, ease and appreciation for the want of being. How my mind processes the things it does, also amazes me but how is it that it sounds so well at speaking but yet bluntly deranged?
A lot of self-evalutation is brought about and there are many things that I'm learning but yet fearing that learning.
That's how I feel right now. There are so many happenings in my life right now, I wish I could understand them all. Some are life threatening and others you just want to disperse because they appear irrelevant to life? My efforts to understand seem disproportionate because as much as I strive to know what means what, nothing comes. The topics of study I chose, appear to be beaten to a pulp do to the lack of familiarity but I come to believe it's not that but a mear mote that's not connecting the last thought to the blessing. That's my struggle.
Repeated attempts to broaden my knowledge seems to show but never seems to feel complete, well at least to me.
I always find myself finishing these entries days at a time, cut apart in thought and still wonder why I'm sitting here writing. I'm not much of a writer but I do enjoy sharing those particles of information I've been handed thru lengthy processes.
What is everything coming to? Is it me or time? Can the key be understood before it should be?
In my mind, it would help because then you can better prepare yourself for the upcoming events but in a way still learn from them. I myself, still have a multitude of learning's to be had but I stumble with progression, ease and appreciation for the want of being. How my mind processes the things it does, also amazes me but how is it that it sounds so well at speaking but yet bluntly deranged?
A lot of self-evalutation is brought about and there are many things that I'm learning but yet fearing that learning.
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