I think not.

Reminiscing in the veracity of salacious seconds clicking to the drum beat of my heart, consumption of closure to characterized aspects has turned the tide. A musing attitude clearly conforms to my instinctive (and/or carnal) mind to initiate the perpetual process of reforming my productive thinking.

Tasting the sound of vibrant sentiments floating about really provides me the opportunity to vastly assist in an unknown atmosphere that I’m not quite yet assure of but yet, I completely know it’s the perfect simulation for further events to take place.

On a less likely to be taken serious note, what a challenge life events have brought forth to me in this stage of my life. I find myself in certain situations that in my mind could easily be precatory or even preparatory. I would hope that it’s in my favor and I’m not going to let a doubt precede my character, for it is supernal and ethereal. Recent happenings in my life tend to be both a chance to learn or to teach and given that blessing in both aspects, there isn’t more I could ask for right now. Solidifying exactness in His will places a sure testimony that I’m reckoned in precision placement. Being able to clearly understand that this has been a quest of it’s own but fulfilling through His eyes, purely gives me the undergoing of a pristine growth.

It’s not too often that I’m granted a chance that I feel I have control over. Seeing that I have been given an assignment to have a greater stewardship over certain individuals, this is the time I see for the work of the Lord to shine as men step up to do their best. Granted, at times they will talk with levity or jokingly but really, what an awesome learning experience it can turn out to be for those around him and also the best for himself. When right intentions are understood, great knowledge comes into play, but if it’s looked past with ease, the lesson to be learned has been forfeited. Someone that is in everyone’s life is there for a reason, what do you think?

Chance…. I think not.

My Ineffablity

It happened so quick
I’m miss understood
No one really sees me
As they really should

Not a moment went by
That I thought in my mind
So many people around
A sore eye and blind

I keep pushing forward
All the ways that I know
But even that itself
Will never make it flow

Reacting the moment
Knowing who I am
Another kick to the face
And with gravity a slam

The past is gone
And the moment I cry
Really makes me wonder
Could this mean goodbye?

It happened so quick
I’m miss understood
No one really sees me
As they really should

A Miss Understanding.

At times, I really don't think I'm meant to be understood.

Blank

Standing still in patient moments in my life tends to end my security and my pillows tend to become wet. Musing on pivotal twinkles of life, reflections are pertinent to the very bearing of where I am going. A quote by a man of God stated after being asked about how to help wayward children, ”Don’t forget about the children that ARE doing what they should be doing.” Recalling experiences in my life, what a path I have traveled to be where I’m at today. My capricious wonderment of my potential has always concluded to elevated amazement and nothing short notorious thoughts. Ramifications I’ll never comprehend are slowing coming to fruition, but yet how do I know that they are to be? Certain blessings in my life has given me direction as to what I need to do in order to become exalted but yet has left me at the crossroads that don’t stop forking just as I believe I have arrived at my destination. Being this emotional has brought feelings that I haven’t ever had before as past feelings once again reverberate in my mind and life. Daily, I ponder hundreds of problems, ideas, thoughts and feelings pertaining to my reasoning of why I’m here at this time. I have a sliver of knowledge of what I did to be placed here at this time, but in return, I have a gargantuan gamut of what I should (supposed to) be doing but not always clear of how to get there, and that’s ok……

Sudden Changes.

A promised blessing:

Everyday will be a day of learning or a day of teaching........

What I learned today is that Heavenly Father is ever so mindful of each of his children. As I sat there with my foot on the brake pedal, I watch this lady in front of me shuffle vigorously for who knows what in her purse. I still sat there as the light turned green, watching her ruffle through her purse and then she takes her foot off the brake pedal 1.5 complete seconds after the light had turned green. Watching the mooting of this lady, I then saw God's hand in her life when all the sudden this little toyota pick-up runs right through the red light. No more than 12 inches of matter passed between these vehicles.

".....this dude is so set in his ways!" Benny replies. Trevor interuppts, "There is a word for that called ossified." "You're too smart to be here Trevor!" Eric exclaims.

All I asked was to fit in and be understood. Oft it feels I'm living in a notional world, but IT is too true be fictional. I may feel I am negligible at times, but, without a doubt, permentantly you will find me being mercurial.

Is it all gone?

betrayal : to lead astray

bereft : lacking something needed, wanted, or expected

irrevocable : not possible to revoke

"........you'll never find these in them nor try to seek that they have done these actions, Me Dear." Congruency is always implicit. Binding factors to allocate any intentions to meliorate life's situations is the best thing one can do. Circumstances at hand will always remonstrate one to ponder for either a nano-second or for a season to only excuse time and proliferate a needed additional knowledge.

Experiences will no longer determine my expectations as they have in the past but will entice me to further my understanding of what it will take to defer my will and exhaust my wants to be in the right place at the right time for once. Drubbed excessively, reiteration banned.

A yt thnk thy msndrstd m.

Shadow of the Day.

I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

Review about Shadow Of The Day

leaving Reviewer: person 12/15/2007

this song is definately about the concept of leaving, whether it be a place, a person or life. to me this song is about a person who has to start a new life (or the end of their life) and the sorrow that follows their departure. i cant help but think its about a relationship that had to end due to external circumstances (like one of the people having to move away etc). whatever the meaning its a very moving song.

Meaning Reviewer: Anonymous 12/7/2007

When i listen to this song, i definately get the feeling that he's singing about suicide, but not a sudden one, rather one that's been long and drawn out. I see a person suffering from depression before finally taking his or her own life. I think that's what he means by "sometimes goodbye's the only way". The person comitting suicide sees their death as the only way out. "The sun will set for you", i think, is a refrence to how the sunset is the end of the day, thus a sunset would be the end of their life. I think the line "sometimes solutions aren't so simple" is saying that the simple solution to depression is just take some medicine and don't feel sad anymore, but in reality, the illness isn't that simple to conquer. I get the idea that it wasn't this person's first attempt at suicide with "In cards and flowers on your window, your friends all plead with you to stay." However, no matter what the meaning of the song is, it's beautiful.

Shadow Of The Day preformed by Linkin Park Reviewer: Rad 8/26/2007

Well for you that didn't seem to understand the lyrics, this is how I see it.(I'll go mostly by ph. but sometimes line by line{ I'm going to put the chorus at the end})So this person the song is about seems sick or in the hospital, the singer had closed the blinds so it's only them, or because he feels so down that watching even just the sun out side would be to cheerful. So assuming the person is sick with something like cancer where they think they have a solution like sugery isn't always the best choice and now it means they may have to say goodbye.The sick person obviously has people who hope and pray that they will get better, thus them "asking them[you] to stay", but it's obvious that this person wont live so it's the begining of a new life without them and the singer must truely say goodbye.Chorus:The singer feels that this person is so special or so powerful that even the sun, which bows to no one(figuratively) will set just for them, as the shadows embrace the world mourning for this person.well that's just my opinion sorry it sounds kinda sappy but that's what I see it as.



As seen above, you notice that people have their ideas of songs and what they mean. To me, a song tells you something words can not. What does the day bring? The sun sets only to say that there is another day a head of you. I really think the song is unfinished and it's up to us to write the last line of that song.

The Break Down Process

Twists and turn in the past couple of weeks. I just found out today of when my last day in the NEG dept here at M* will be. My life is taking upon major changes that have come so sudden. To back up a bit, I have been informed of information that I never knew that influenced and enticed a self-evaluation to take place. As some words were exchanged, I was happy to know that I let my Heavenly Father put me through the breakdown process.

This breakdown was hard but needed to be done in order to prepare the way that has been aforementioned. The first week in November is when my walls crumbled, fell apart and were completely removed from my life. I took the whole day off to spend time with family, or so I thought, but long behold, it was a day of past reflection of who I was, where I went and what caused these feelings and make me the person I wanted to be. Inscrutable occurrences allured meticulous musing, and that’s when I cracked, broke down………I bawled.

In preparation to this process, I had to let it all go and tell Him I can't do it by myself. I had to trust Him 100% before any change would come. Nothing could be confined in me if I knew that I needed to give my will to my Father in Heaven so that my full potential could be incarcerated within the walls of this gift. As I think about it, it’s like the ending in Armageddon. You just can’t shoot a train with a BB gun and expected to change its attitude or course, but it was a great deal of drilling, understanding and……..a desire to make it happen for that rock to change the path.

That’s how it was for me. I had to let many things go and the moment that I did that, my character of being a Child of God was fully realized and that’s when everything that everyone thought about me, became irrelevant. As hard as it was to let go of those insecurities, but my happiness and self-worth was more important and now, I’m happier!
I can honestly say I understand the word wrestle that is used in the Book of Enos……because I’ve been there all because of the Enabling Power of the Atonement.

Oh boy!

How I feel like a hypocrite at times. Changes of life are so sporadic and invigorating. I find it amazing that girls have, at their finger tips, the inheritance (from deity) to tactfully persuade guys like myself to just drop all previous experiences and just try one more time. I don’t know how things will turn out but it blows me away that I let some of these yearly built walls down so quick after a deceitful battle between good and chicks (yes EVIL!!)

I have so many mixed feelings with what is happening in my life with dating, school and work. I hope to start school here in the near future but I have applied for a position within my company that would require moving away. I have been praying that I will get the other job here in Utah and not be offered that position in DC. I’ve come across a girl that I find a lot of interest in and I have a date with her this weekend. I don’t know her that well but from the time that we have spent, she is very positive, happy and someone I have a lot of respect for.

The more and more I think about one of the things I said for that job in DC, I don’t think it’s going to work out. With the Law of Attraction at hand, better things are preparing the best things yet to happen. That other position here at M*, that if I got it, would be a miracle in itself.

I don’t have anything else to say.

Truth about Men

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Cry ing is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping