Sunday, March 23, 2008
Blank
Standing still in patient moments in my life tends to end my security and my pillows tend to become wet. Musing on pivotal twinkles of life, reflections are pertinent to the very bearing of where I am going. A quote by a man of God stated after being asked about how to help wayward children, ”Don’t forget about the children that ARE doing what they should be doing.” Recalling experiences in my life, what a path I have traveled to be where I’m at today. My capricious wonderment of my potential has always concluded to elevated amazement and nothing short notorious thoughts. Ramifications I’ll never comprehend are slowing coming to fruition, but yet how do I know that they are to be? Certain blessings in my life has given me direction as to what I need to do in order to become exalted but yet has left me at the crossroads that don’t stop forking just as I believe I have arrived at my destination. Being this emotional has brought feelings that I haven’t ever had before as past feelings once again reverberate in my mind and life. Daily, I ponder hundreds of problems, ideas, thoughts and feelings pertaining to my reasoning of why I’m here at this time. I have a sliver of knowledge of what I did to be placed here at this time, but in return, I have a gargantuan gamut of what I should (supposed to) be doing but not always clear of how to get there, and that’s ok……
Friday, February 15, 2008
Sudden Changes.
A promised blessing:
Everyday will be a day of learning or a day of teaching........
What I learned today is that Heavenly Father is ever so mindful of each of his children. As I sat there with my foot on the brake pedal, I watch this lady in front of me shuffle vigorously for who knows what in her purse. I still sat there as the light turned green, watching her ruffle through her purse and then she takes her foot off the brake pedal 1.5 complete seconds after the light had turned green. Watching the mooting of this lady, I then saw God's hand in her life when all the sudden this little toyota pick-up runs right through the red light. No more than 12 inches of matter passed between these vehicles.
".....this dude is so set in his ways!" Benny replies. Trevor interuppts, "There is a word for that called ossified." "You're too smart to be here Trevor!" Eric exclaims.
All I asked was to fit in and be understood. Oft it feels I'm living in a notional world, but IT is too true be fictional. I may feel I am negligible at times, but, without a doubt, permentantly you will find me being mercurial.
Everyday will be a day of learning or a day of teaching........
What I learned today is that Heavenly Father is ever so mindful of each of his children. As I sat there with my foot on the brake pedal, I watch this lady in front of me shuffle vigorously for who knows what in her purse. I still sat there as the light turned green, watching her ruffle through her purse and then she takes her foot off the brake pedal 1.5 complete seconds after the light had turned green. Watching the mooting of this lady, I then saw God's hand in her life when all the sudden this little toyota pick-up runs right through the red light. No more than 12 inches of matter passed between these vehicles.
".....this dude is so set in his ways!" Benny replies. Trevor interuppts, "There is a word for that called ossified." "You're too smart to be here Trevor!" Eric exclaims.
All I asked was to fit in and be understood. Oft it feels I'm living in a notional world, but IT is too true be fictional. I may feel I am negligible at times, but, without a doubt, permentantly you will find me being mercurial.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Is it all gone?
betrayal : to lead astray
bereft : lacking something needed, wanted, or expected
irrevocable : not possible to revoke
"........you'll never find these in them nor try to seek that they have done these actions, Me Dear." Congruency is always implicit. Binding factors to allocate any intentions to meliorate life's situations is the best thing one can do. Circumstances at hand will always remonstrate one to ponder for either a nano-second or for a season to only excuse time and proliferate a needed additional knowledge.
Experiences will no longer determine my expectations as they have in the past but will entice me to further my understanding of what it will take to defer my will and exhaust my wants to be in the right place at the right time for once. Drubbed excessively, reiteration banned.
A yt thnk thy msndrstd m.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Shadow of the Day.
I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
Review about Shadow Of The Day
leaving Reviewer: person 12/15/2007
this song is definately about the concept of leaving, whether it be a place, a person or life. to me this song is about a person who has to start a new life (or the end of their life) and the sorrow that follows their departure. i cant help but think its about a relationship that had to end due to external circumstances (like one of the people having to move away etc). whatever the meaning its a very moving song.
Meaning Reviewer: Anonymous 12/7/2007
When i listen to this song, i definately get the feeling that he's singing about suicide, but not a sudden one, rather one that's been long and drawn out. I see a person suffering from depression before finally taking his or her own life. I think that's what he means by "sometimes goodbye's the only way". The person comitting suicide sees their death as the only way out. "The sun will set for you", i think, is a refrence to how the sunset is the end of the day, thus a sunset would be the end of their life. I think the line "sometimes solutions aren't so simple" is saying that the simple solution to depression is just take some medicine and don't feel sad anymore, but in reality, the illness isn't that simple to conquer. I get the idea that it wasn't this person's first attempt at suicide with "In cards and flowers on your window, your friends all plead with you to stay." However, no matter what the meaning of the song is, it's beautiful.
Shadow Of The Day preformed by Linkin Park Reviewer: Rad 8/26/2007
Well for you that didn't seem to understand the lyrics, this is how I see it.(I'll go mostly by ph. but sometimes line by line{ I'm going to put the chorus at the end})So this person the song is about seems sick or in the hospital, the singer had closed the blinds so it's only them, or because he feels so down that watching even just the sun out side would be to cheerful. So assuming the person is sick with something like cancer where they think they have a solution like sugery isn't always the best choice and now it means they may have to say goodbye.The sick person obviously has people who hope and pray that they will get better, thus them "asking them[you] to stay", but it's obvious that this person wont live so it's the begining of a new life without them and the singer must truely say goodbye.Chorus:The singer feels that this person is so special or so powerful that even the sun, which bows to no one(figuratively) will set just for them, as the shadows embrace the world mourning for this person.well that's just my opinion sorry it sounds kinda sappy but that's what I see it as.
As seen above, you notice that people have their ideas of songs and what they mean. To me, a song tells you something words can not. What does the day bring? The sun sets only to say that there is another day a head of you. I really think the song is unfinished and it's up to us to write the last line of that song.
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you
Review about Shadow Of The Day
leaving Reviewer: person 12/15/2007
this song is definately about the concept of leaving, whether it be a place, a person or life. to me this song is about a person who has to start a new life (or the end of their life) and the sorrow that follows their departure. i cant help but think its about a relationship that had to end due to external circumstances (like one of the people having to move away etc). whatever the meaning its a very moving song.
Meaning Reviewer: Anonymous 12/7/2007
When i listen to this song, i definately get the feeling that he's singing about suicide, but not a sudden one, rather one that's been long and drawn out. I see a person suffering from depression before finally taking his or her own life. I think that's what he means by "sometimes goodbye's the only way". The person comitting suicide sees their death as the only way out. "The sun will set for you", i think, is a refrence to how the sunset is the end of the day, thus a sunset would be the end of their life. I think the line "sometimes solutions aren't so simple" is saying that the simple solution to depression is just take some medicine and don't feel sad anymore, but in reality, the illness isn't that simple to conquer. I get the idea that it wasn't this person's first attempt at suicide with "In cards and flowers on your window, your friends all plead with you to stay." However, no matter what the meaning of the song is, it's beautiful.
Shadow Of The Day preformed by Linkin Park Reviewer: Rad 8/26/2007
Well for you that didn't seem to understand the lyrics, this is how I see it.(I'll go mostly by ph. but sometimes line by line{ I'm going to put the chorus at the end})So this person the song is about seems sick or in the hospital, the singer had closed the blinds so it's only them, or because he feels so down that watching even just the sun out side would be to cheerful. So assuming the person is sick with something like cancer where they think they have a solution like sugery isn't always the best choice and now it means they may have to say goodbye.The sick person obviously has people who hope and pray that they will get better, thus them "asking them[you] to stay", but it's obvious that this person wont live so it's the begining of a new life without them and the singer must truely say goodbye.Chorus:The singer feels that this person is so special or so powerful that even the sun, which bows to no one(figuratively) will set just for them, as the shadows embrace the world mourning for this person.well that's just my opinion sorry it sounds kinda sappy but that's what I see it as.
As seen above, you notice that people have their ideas of songs and what they mean. To me, a song tells you something words can not. What does the day bring? The sun sets only to say that there is another day a head of you. I really think the song is unfinished and it's up to us to write the last line of that song.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Break Down Process
Twists and turn in the past couple of weeks. I just found out today of when my last day in the NEG dept here at M* will be. My life is taking upon major changes that have come so sudden. To back up a bit, I have been informed of information that I never knew that influenced and enticed a self-evaluation to take place. As some words were exchanged, I was happy to know that I let my Heavenly Father put me through the breakdown process.
This breakdown was hard but needed to be done in order to prepare the way that has been aforementioned. The first week in November is when my walls crumbled, fell apart and were completely removed from my life. I took the whole day off to spend time with family, or so I thought, but long behold, it was a day of past reflection of who I was, where I went and what caused these feelings and make me the person I wanted to be. Inscrutable occurrences allured meticulous musing, and that’s when I cracked, broke down………I bawled.
In preparation to this process, I had to let it all go and tell Him I can't do it by myself. I had to trust Him 100% before any change would come. Nothing could be confined in me if I knew that I needed to give my will to my Father in Heaven so that my full potential could be incarcerated within the walls of this gift. As I think about it, it’s like the ending in Armageddon. You just can’t shoot a train with a BB gun and expected to change its attitude or course, but it was a great deal of drilling, understanding and……..a desire to make it happen for that rock to change the path.
That’s how it was for me. I had to let many things go and the moment that I did that, my character of being a Child of God was fully realized and that’s when everything that everyone thought about me, became irrelevant. As hard as it was to let go of those insecurities, but my happiness and self-worth was more important and now, I’m happier!
I can honestly say I understand the word wrestle that is used in the Book of Enos……because I’ve been there all because of the Enabling Power of the Atonement.
This breakdown was hard but needed to be done in order to prepare the way that has been aforementioned. The first week in November is when my walls crumbled, fell apart and were completely removed from my life. I took the whole day off to spend time with family, or so I thought, but long behold, it was a day of past reflection of who I was, where I went and what caused these feelings and make me the person I wanted to be. Inscrutable occurrences allured meticulous musing, and that’s when I cracked, broke down………I bawled.
In preparation to this process, I had to let it all go and tell Him I can't do it by myself. I had to trust Him 100% before any change would come. Nothing could be confined in me if I knew that I needed to give my will to my Father in Heaven so that my full potential could be incarcerated within the walls of this gift. As I think about it, it’s like the ending in Armageddon. You just can’t shoot a train with a BB gun and expected to change its attitude or course, but it was a great deal of drilling, understanding and……..a desire to make it happen for that rock to change the path.
That’s how it was for me. I had to let many things go and the moment that I did that, my character of being a Child of God was fully realized and that’s when everything that everyone thought about me, became irrelevant. As hard as it was to let go of those insecurities, but my happiness and self-worth was more important and now, I’m happier!
I can honestly say I understand the word wrestle that is used in the Book of Enos……because I’ve been there all because of the Enabling Power of the Atonement.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Oh boy!
How I feel like a hypocrite at times. Changes of life are so sporadic and invigorating. I find it amazing that girls have, at their finger tips, the inheritance (from deity) to tactfully persuade guys like myself to just drop all previous experiences and just try one more time. I don’t know how things will turn out but it blows me away that I let some of these yearly built walls down so quick after a deceitful battle between good and chicks (yes EVIL!!)
I have so many mixed feelings with what is happening in my life with dating, school and work. I hope to start school here in the near future but I have applied for a position within my company that would require moving away. I have been praying that I will get the other job here in Utah and not be offered that position in DC. I’ve come across a girl that I find a lot of interest in and I have a date with her this weekend. I don’t know her that well but from the time that we have spent, she is very positive, happy and someone I have a lot of respect for.
The more and more I think about one of the things I said for that job in DC, I don’t think it’s going to work out. With the Law of Attraction at hand, better things are preparing the best things yet to happen. That other position here at M*, that if I got it, would be a miracle in itself.
I don’t have anything else to say.
I have so many mixed feelings with what is happening in my life with dating, school and work. I hope to start school here in the near future but I have applied for a position within my company that would require moving away. I have been praying that I will get the other job here in Utah and not be offered that position in DC. I’ve come across a girl that I find a lot of interest in and I have a date with her this weekend. I don’t know her that well but from the time that we have spent, she is very positive, happy and someone I have a lot of respect for.
The more and more I think about one of the things I said for that job in DC, I don’t think it’s going to work out. With the Law of Attraction at hand, better things are preparing the best things yet to happen. That other position here at M*, that if I got it, would be a miracle in itself.
I don’t have anything else to say.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Truth about Men
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Cry ing is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Cry ing is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
Sunday, October 14, 2007
What is WRONG with Women?
I've heard you say it a million times but what ever comes of it. Why should I believe you if you are just going to play again and again. This doesn't help either of us and it most certainly isn't going to benefit the circumstances so honestly, what is your motive?
I'll never figure this out, I sure am no longer going to let something that isn't there thrive and overall, nothing is going to stop me from finding what makes me happy.
I transparently expressed my love and concern, and discarded it becomes. I throw away curiosity and interest and now....NOW you want more of it? Times like this is what is going to eat me alive and teach me more about myself and yet again, I take a painful step into reality but yet am that much stronger.
I'll never figure this out, I sure am no longer going to let something that isn't there thrive and overall, nothing is going to stop me from finding what makes me happy.
I transparently expressed my love and concern, and discarded it becomes. I throw away curiosity and interest and now....NOW you want more of it? Times like this is what is going to eat me alive and teach me more about myself and yet again, I take a painful step into reality but yet am that much stronger.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Just plain EVIL
Out of all honesty, what does it take to convey ones individuality to secure success so that others my see the potential that lies within? I don’t know that I’ll ever come to the conclusion of that question but I can contribute to the idea that living in the manner of being you will always address the unknown outcome. She will never know what she doesn’t know about me and I don’t think she ever will. I honestly can’t explain why I liked her but that feeling will soon dissipate and I too shall become more prepared for someone far greater than she.
As you may wonder what in the world could have pushed me to this insanity, it’s easily elucidated in the vicinity of a vivid or brilliant self-importance. As an ongoing attempt to complete this process, I strive for a personal witness of one thing and one thing only. You too can have this witness if you let the spirit testify to you through the light of Christ that you have been blessed with. It’s found in a talk by Virginia H. Pearce titled the Grand Truths of Eternity. Now you might ask yourself why I don’t just come out and tell you the veracity of my intentions but what are you to learn if I just tell you? I dare not steal the infinite and measureless opportunity for you to be taught by your Father in Heaven. Its like those times when you are reading the scriptures, you come across something immaculate and you go to share it and it’s as if it’s no longer where you found it the forefend context made just for you. I can’t speak to you what the spirit wants you to hear, but you will hear what the spirit wants you to hear it when you’re studying or reading from your inhabited motives. A pure methodical ken will lead you and guide you to the celestialized aspiration. Now to tie this all back into what brought about this verbose text, I will lay it out for you.
Time is precious, and so are the Daughters of God. People say love is not a game, but yet why do we have so many players? I will be honest to my readers. I find no contentment in filibustering with my eternal salvation nor should one find it “fun” or “be confused about” to waste time in hopes that “it” works itself out. Sure it has taken time and effort to swing my understanding-sledge-hammer at the walls of “security” that’s taken me a life time to build, but those walls have created a fissure for people to peak at me and identify a witness of who I am.
So now that I’m done speaking my mind, all I ask of girls is that if you don’t know what you want, just say it. Please don’t play it off with time in hopes that he will just disappear, (because he wont) but be polite and say, “I’d rather spend time as friends first and if it moves forward from there, we could try it.” I can guarantee that 20 months of my life (5 different girls X 4 months) would have been different had I known…….you never were interested……
Heavenly Father knows best and I know he is looking out for me. I can testify that he is aware of me and is constantly working on me so that I my be thrusted back into the blacksmiths coals to yet be refined again in the beatings and refinement process that I’m about to under go.
I have forgiven and forgotten.
As you may wonder what in the world could have pushed me to this insanity, it’s easily elucidated in the vicinity of a vivid or brilliant self-importance. As an ongoing attempt to complete this process, I strive for a personal witness of one thing and one thing only. You too can have this witness if you let the spirit testify to you through the light of Christ that you have been blessed with. It’s found in a talk by Virginia H. Pearce titled the Grand Truths of Eternity. Now you might ask yourself why I don’t just come out and tell you the veracity of my intentions but what are you to learn if I just tell you? I dare not steal the infinite and measureless opportunity for you to be taught by your Father in Heaven. Its like those times when you are reading the scriptures, you come across something immaculate and you go to share it and it’s as if it’s no longer where you found it the forefend context made just for you. I can’t speak to you what the spirit wants you to hear, but you will hear what the spirit wants you to hear it when you’re studying or reading from your inhabited motives. A pure methodical ken will lead you and guide you to the celestialized aspiration. Now to tie this all back into what brought about this verbose text, I will lay it out for you.
Time is precious, and so are the Daughters of God. People say love is not a game, but yet why do we have so many players? I will be honest to my readers. I find no contentment in filibustering with my eternal salvation nor should one find it “fun” or “be confused about” to waste time in hopes that “it” works itself out. Sure it has taken time and effort to swing my understanding-sledge-hammer at the walls of “security” that’s taken me a life time to build, but those walls have created a fissure for people to peak at me and identify a witness of who I am.
So now that I’m done speaking my mind, all I ask of girls is that if you don’t know what you want, just say it. Please don’t play it off with time in hopes that he will just disappear, (because he wont) but be polite and say, “I’d rather spend time as friends first and if it moves forward from there, we could try it.” I can guarantee that 20 months of my life (5 different girls X 4 months) would have been different had I known…….you never were interested……
Heavenly Father knows best and I know he is looking out for me. I can testify that he is aware of me and is constantly working on me so that I my be thrusted back into the blacksmiths coals to yet be refined again in the beatings and refinement process that I’m about to under go.
I have forgiven and forgotten.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The passings of a friend
Distraughtly walking into the chapel after a member of the Bishop Bric asked us to come together, we all wonder why we were conjoining back into the chapel.
The elders quarm president, Dan Taylor took his next step towards progression today....to a more exalted sphere.
I never sobbed so hard. Unexpected occasions happen, that's what slapped me in the face. A defining moment in my life made me weep. I have so many corrections to make in my life and it seems like past experiences didn't hit me hard enough. It'll be hard to see him go, but at the same time, how grateful I am to have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. Saying a prayer in my heart for his family, I only pray that they will have the enabling power of the atonement working in their lives as they recognize that all will be well.
I'll miss you Dan
The elders quarm president, Dan Taylor took his next step towards progression today....to a more exalted sphere.
I never sobbed so hard. Unexpected occasions happen, that's what slapped me in the face. A defining moment in my life made me weep. I have so many corrections to make in my life and it seems like past experiences didn't hit me hard enough. It'll be hard to see him go, but at the same time, how grateful I am to have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. Saying a prayer in my heart for his family, I only pray that they will have the enabling power of the atonement working in their lives as they recognize that all will be well.
I'll miss you Dan
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